Tag Archives: walking around with a hot sixteen year old on a gurney lashed to your hips and she is just constantly sucking your dick

How to Quit Drinking and Smoking

5 May

Anyway.  I did not drink to excess last night.  And you know… I feel OK.  I feel better than usual. I also only smoked two cigarettes yesterday.  These are longtime goals of mine– do not drink to excess every god damn motherfucking night, and, as a corollary, do not, having drunk to excess, stand out on the porch and take a couple drags off a fresh cigarette and then put it out, then go back in the house and take a shot, look at shit on wikipedia, then, fifteen minutes later, go back out and relight and take another couple drags off the cigarette until the thing is gone, and you have then smoked four cigarettes that day. And drunk six tall brandies. And you wake up with a fog in your sinuses, you know… some hissing behind your forehead, sour phlegm in your mouth, and a cough that feels like it can’t quite reach the very bottom of your lungs where a couple oysterlike lumps of mucous are sitting in a soup of ashes and tar.

So today is not one of those days. And I feel somewhat better.  The thing is, merely feeling a notch or two physically better does not even begin to address the larger problems in your life.  The day to day, just– suck.  The removal of this small negative does not quite get you to zero.  And that’s all life is, a struggle to get to zero.

Continue reading