I am thirty six years old and just at the age where my ball sack is becoming full of retards. If I met my soul mate TOMORROW I would have kids by age 39 at the very minimum, and I am not going to meet my soul mate tomorrow. If you extrapolate current trends, I am forecast to meet my soul mate never. Or even someone who would not get an abortion if I impregnated them. So by the time I have kids they will be virtually guaranteed to have severe chromosome damage and have to blow themselves around in special wheelchairs. They will have to wear corrective skull helmets and occasionally have the strength of a bear when startled. They will probably want to watch LIFE GOES ON reruns constantly. I’m going to have to buy another television because I need that shit for Xbox.
They will have to go to a special school and be constantly monitored. Not because they might set themselves on fire but because, and this is true– unattended retarded teens left alone for any length of time will immediately degrade into an unprotected fuckfest. Seriously, the second you turn your back, my brother the special education teacher tells me, they are immediately and indiscriminately fucking.
So maybe this life isn’t so bad. Maybe I shouldn’t be afraid to bring a person like this into the world. You have a nice structured day, bus rides everywhere, nice sandwich with the crusts cut off at lunch and then every unsupervised moment you have you are just balls deep in some other mongoloid.
delicioustacos 
That’s not necesarrily true. Anecdotal but still relevant, my parents had their last kid in their late fourties and she’s smarter than the rest of us were at her age.
And, at the risk of sounding groupy_ish, I would totally have your babies.
Since I take every single thing you write very seriously, I just wanted to say that I think you’d make a great father, and I bet lots of women would have sex with you. Also, I know a lot of resources are out there for people who have chromosomal damage, and your risk is not as high as you-
OHGODFUCKINGDAMMIT, the part about “Life Goes On” made me laugh while I was drinking water. Great job, as usual, fuckface.
Having a reatard child is a fate worse than death. Luckily for you, sperm is created daily. It’s only female age that matters. Additionally, eggs aren’t subject to any kind of competition…strong sperm are the ones who get to the egg, because they beat others out for it. Eggs just sit there even if they’re all nasty assmamd still get fertilized. This is also why so many diseases are x chromosome linked.
What you’re saying is, DT is justified in his constant and glorious mission to rawdog 19 year olds. Those 19 year olds have healthy, non-retarded eggs. Sure, the girls aren’t the brightest, but they’re 19. They’re not in danger of passing down “Being dumb and 19”, especially with such a strong genetic contribution on the other side.
Exactly!
Actually, there have been studies that show that men’s sperm decline in all ways as they age. http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/guide/age-raises-infertility-risk-in-men-too
It shows a decline (and the term “may” is in the title so that’s telling) but that article has zero bearing on the selection factor and it’s nowhere near suggesting that men and women have similar levels of genetic bullets waiting to blow the brains out their kids as they age.
Don’t unnecessarily try to worry someone who already worries…not about the things he should, but still.
Retarded child.* typo.
Rest easy. All you bring to the table is the possibility of inability to impregnate, miscarriage, dwarfism and Apert Syndrome.
https://www.llnl.gov/news/newsreleases/2006/NR-06-06-01.html
Can all of you just blow yourselves?
If I could, I wouldn’t have a profile on OkCupid.
So lonely you all must be, but what would we ever do without you nerds??
You’re taking it kind of deep. I think most negative comments are coming from the opinion that it doesn’t actually matter. He’s just making excuses.
Luckily there is a special place in hell for someone like you. Enjoy!