High Heels

25 May

Stop wearing high heels.  Stop wearing high heels.  I know they make your ass stick out, but if you have a good ass I already know it.  I can look at you for one instant and then mentally flip your ass from a normal standing position in flats to any angle I want in my own little Lawnmower Man virtual reality.  Don’t worry if you have a little cheese hang under there, I know it goes away when you bend over slightly. Because I am always studying every woman’s ass I have ever seen and watching it move into various positions and I can completely do the airbrushing for you.  Don’t worry about it.  I still want to maul that shit like bear smacking a salmon out of the river.

And I know they make you look tall, but tall chicks are hideous and disgusting; nobody wants them. All men want a tiny petite chick who looks like a twelve year old girl and anyone who says he doesn’t is lying…  all men want a woman who looks as young as possible and absolutely nothing else matters.  Dudes who are into tall chicks are gay.

9 Responses to “High Heels”

  1. Anonymous May 26, 2012 at 3:33 pm #

    Those gross tall women like, you know, all supermodels? Maybe someday you’ll realize that “what I think” doesn’t equal “what everyone thinks.”

    • sylviasarah May 27, 2012 at 8:44 pm #

      Are they hot because they’re tall or are they hot because they are young? I’ll bet the height scouts look for is more for the sake of practicality but you rarely hear of a model who isn’t actually pretty. They exist but the average person won’t know their names. If it weren’t because they’re young you might expect to see a lot of older models.

      • Anonymous May 28, 2012 at 12:22 am #

        I’m pointing out that being tall doesn’t make you not hot. I never said being tall is what made supermodels hot, just that they’re undeniably hot and also tall. His post said tall girls are all gross.

      • sylviasarah May 29, 2012 at 4:53 pm #

        Dude. A guy is saying it’s okay to not wear heels. Through like, what 95% of the post he is in admiration of the female form and you want to complain about the tiny part where he’s just stressing how okay it is to be your own height?

      • Anonymous May 30, 2012 at 12:16 am #

        I don’t really wait for mens’ “okay” to decide what shoes to buy. You’re an idiot.

      • Anonymous May 30, 2012 at 7:46 am #

        Hey now. It.s not that deep. you obviously get things you think are cute, because heels aren.t very practical or comfortable. Where does that want to be cute come from?

      • Anonymous May 30, 2012 at 7:49 am #

        And I meant to point out that it.s not often you.ll meet a guy who doesn.t think chicks look better in heels, not that you should wait for one’s approval.

  2. Anonymous May 27, 2012 at 5:24 pm #

    What’s worse then? In a hypothetical situation, would you pick the fat one or the tall one?

  3. Anonymous July 1, 2012 at 4:23 pm #

    Really into tall women. And Monica Bellucci like curves. And not as young as possible, but someone who looks like she could teach me a few things. Really young girls just look like I’m going to become the embodiment of the great black myth to them. Okay, I suppose, but not my shtick.

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