image stolen from bestpaperz.com
When I fuck a girl, to stay hard, I have to think about getting her pregnant, moving to the suburbs, having her quit her job, me making enough money for both of us. Having her love me, having us give up this war of dick pussy money. Just live in a house together. Nice yard with trees. Wake up beside her on a fall morning. Watch her while she sleeps. How her hair lies on the pillow. The smell of her neck.
When I fuck a girl, to stay hard, I have to imagine watching her age, her watching me age, still loving her. Loving the smell of her neck at 50. Taking care of her. One of us does the work, the other pays the bills. One of us cooks, the other does the dishes. Maybe Astral Weeks is playing as I pull the chicken out and then the pan I used to cook the stuffing outside the bird at the end so it gets that crust. Oh honey, this is the best one yet she says when she takes a bite. When I fuck a girl, to stay hard I have to imagine loving her, being loved, and then a little boy or maybe a girl with her hair my eyes having her first day of school and we’re nervous but proud. We can’t believe this is happening. I have to imagine coming home from work and she’s there watching some stupid shit like Pretty Little Liars and she’s embarrassed that she got caught. And I sit down for a second to laugh at the show in a mean way but end up getting engrossed and we spend all night like that on the couch together. I have to think about our kids and taking them back to the lake where I grew up and watching them swim, watching my dad watch my kids before he dies. Showing her things I never showed anybody. Her showing me things she never showed anybody. One of us dies with the other one holding their hand. The other one dies soon after, like Johnny and June Carter Cash. Scatter our ashes by the lake and our kids are sad but they grew up to be good people and their kids are good people too, because of us.
It’s sick, I know. But that’s what I need to stay hard. Right up until the last second, when I pull out and squirt cum on her navel while she laughs. And then I don’t call her, she’s too old. She doesn’t call me, I’m gross and have a small dick. Tomorrow we get back on Tinder. Find another one.
delicioustacos 
This damn near made me cry. Yeah, it’s kinda bleak and hopeless out there, with not a soul worth saving, or even wanting to be saved. On the other hand, having been married for 24 years, and having raised two children to adulthood I have to say, despite all the bad shit you may read elsewhere, it can be made to work, The catch is in finding someone who is willing to put in the work with you. Which brings us back to Square One….
Beautiful…When we, as a country, got to the point where we couldn’t raise a family on one income, that is where the beginning of the end really started. I did the whole 1950’s household thing with my first wife. Moved to a small town with the kids, bought a beautiful arts and crafts era bungalow for only 31 grand. She stayed home and I worked like a machine with the governor torn off….. And she resented the shit out of me for it. That’s the secret DT…finding a girl that is worthy of this beautiful dream.
Worthy, who wants. Same thing…you’re an idiot.
You’re full of shit, Tim
Haunting
This is either transcendent or deeply pathological. Not sure which. Either way, solid fucking writing.
Personal note: Chicks ~30, who hear that biological tock ticking like Big Ben at noon, her ovaries ripe like brie cheese left out overnight, those chicks LOOOOVe to hear about you cumming inside their unprotected, fertile pussies. They love to hear about you impregnating them. That kind of babymaking dirty talk makes them nuts, orgasming strongly. Use with caution. YMMV.
How much would it cost for you not to pull out? Seriously. Nothing else, just one fuck, no date, no responsibilities.
This got me wet.
I’m amazed you’re still getting girls at your age. I found my response from those coveted 18-22 year olds has come to a screeching halt now that I’m in my late 20’s. It’s basically taboo to care about sex of you’re over 25 and male in America. Guess it’s hookers for the next 60 years.
i touch myself to your writing
Please tell me you’re writing a screenplay about your Henry Miller life I. echo park with Nikol and your other friends and lovers and jobs and sadnesses and sex quests. Just make it a “what’s it all about?” Edgy romcom and end it with you finding yourself. Just, come on, you’re a bit of a treasure and the world needs it out of LA. (Ps-I wrote to Nikol on OKC before I knew about your blog or and got no response. )
You´re strangely like me, Tacos. Sex is about making babies, and coming inside a woman knowing you´re spreading your seed. Not about fucking from the wrong end or blow-jobs, which if you think of it, aren´t but steriles substitutes for the real thing.I also share your hatred for condoms. They just don´t work at all; they don´t even protect you from the smaller bugs, like HIV.
Unlike you I have a small child, and am now divorced. I swear the one day I produced my son ( there´s a a smaller opportunty window for procreation than we tend to believe),
I jizzed like never before. It was pure bliss and release. He´s about perfect, minus the tantrums,loll!
Unfortunately my current girlfriend isn´t into the russian roulette of pulling out at the last moment.It´s a technique that also brings maximum pleasure. Danger and sex, and delaying the whole thing until you can´t humanly hold on any longer, her eyes wide open with fear and pleasure.
Hey tacos are you still sober? Can we get an update on this. How long have you been going to aa?
This is brilliant and laugh-inducing; made me wet not with tears and also with actual tears. Your mind is the sexiest thing.
Come on, do some writing.
You’re a fucking poet.
Oh, fuck you too.
is good