Some of you may remember from it being two inches below these words that we had a dog named Kenny Rogers, and were wrestling with whether to return him to a possibly neglectful home.
It’s now a bit out of our hands. Kenny jumped the fence at Nikol’s house and wandered up to some woman who turned him in to the animal shelter.
In a way, this kicks ass, because both the phone numbers off his avid chip were disconnected (we did end up trying them). The shelter can’t get a hold of his owner. So for him to get the dog back, he would have to take action, meaning, he wants the dog and therefore gives a shit. If he doesn’t give a shit, which seems more likely, the dog will go up for adoption on June 5th.
This is where you come in. Kenny is an older dog who is pretty beat to shit. He looks menacing as fuck even in his underweight state and he still has nuts, which people don’t seem to like. People want to adopt puppies so they can mold them into Cesar Millan blah blah blah, and old dogs have a tough time getting out of the joint. Maybe folks are afraid an old dog is too set in his ways.
Well look: Kenny Rogers is set in ways that fucking rule. He is gentle, sociable, and down for whatever. He’ll play, he’ll run, he’ll lie around, whatever you want. But what Kenny cannot stand is being alone. You try to close the door behind you and Kenny will jam his basketball-sized head in demanding to come along. You leave the house for forty five minutes to get some fucking sushi and Kenny will clear an eight foot fence and amble up to strangers.
Kenny Rogers needs a home where people are pretty much always around. Maybe a big house with a bunch of housemates and one of them is a screenwriter or actor or something– someone with no job. Or one dude works an office by day while the other strips at night or something– point being, this dog needs companionship. And some space would be great too, although, don’t leave him out unattended. ‘Cause he’ll jump the fucking fence.
But let’s not split hairs. If you had a dog, would you let his ears get chewed off by thousands of easily preventable parasites? No? Then you are well ahead of Kenny’s previous management.
In my opinion, if you have a decent sized home and yard and some people are usually around, you need to adopt this asskicking dog on June 5th. He’s at the East Valley Animal Shelter in Van Nuys. If there’s an “interested party” already listed don’t worry, that’s just me putting my name on the list so he doesn’t get euthanized.
What are you waiting for? GO ADOPT KENNY ROGERS RIGHT NO- oh yeah. June 5th. Email me if you want more info.