Nikol. Why do you have three kids and two ex husbands. Why do you have these things. I kind of love you. You are really smart and funny and an excellent writer. And you’re good looking! You clean up really well. You are the only person I’ve met in the last two years whom I could conceivably fall in love with. Why do you have to have this weird fucking baggage—I don’t care that you were born into foster homes, getting beaten and molested, having—seriously—getting locked into a room full of bees. Is that real, or did you fall asleep watching CANDYMAN and just absorb the movie as your own memories? But yeah, why. Why can’t you be 24 and with no kid, although– I do like her kids. I do like Trast, like- we could play fucking Dungeons and Dragons together.
Why. Why can’t more girls be like you. Or why can’t even one more girl be like you. Even girls who are famous and successful don’t have what you have. Is it all the pain? Like, are you just some freak aberration, the recessive smart genes crossing in a long family tree of white trash, and then… and then… the Kwisatz Haderach emerges.
delicioustacos 
Nothing’s perfect. But do continue to chase after that unicorn. You two seem great for each other. At least with kids you can mold them into smaller, potentially eviler and dumber versions of you. Or maybe a mini Kenny Rogers. Have the kid wear a fake beard for a month.
she could be 19 but she’ll always be passive aggressive
Why do you have to deliver the highest compliment AND the worst insult to this poor girl at the same time? Be a man–you couldn’t “conceivably” fall in love with her, you ARE in love with her. Own it and be thankful God brought her into your life. Don’t take it for granted like this, eh? Hasn’t she been through enough? She can’t control not being 24 years old… what a terrible thing to say. 😦 But in the same breath you tell her she’s the Kwisatz Haderach for Pete’s sake…way to make her go crazy whilst at the same time making her feel pure bliss.
Why can’t you just get over yourself? Or is it that she wouldn’t want you?
Getting locked into a room full of bees? While this may have been deeply tragic, it may also be the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. Is there a published account of this that can be linked to? Fucking “getting locked into a room full of bees.” I actually kinda don’t want the story, because those eight words, in that sequence, with no further details, is as funny to me as anything I’ve ever seen.
She hasn’t written about it as far as I know. The childhood stuff she has written about is pretty god damn bad, but the shit she leaves out is straight out of 100 DAYS OF SODOM.
Just fucking marry her already you know you wanna.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t rooting for you to man up and give it another shot.
nah, DT’s thoughts and hesitations are perfectly rational and justified. Nikol does seem to have a great personality in many ways – she’s smart, funny, irreverant and all that… I wish her well especially with the horrible cancer she’s going through. I wouldn’t have the strength she has to go through that. But she also clearly has a lot of baggage. Sorry, but most men aren’t willing to put up with that. It’s too much to ask really. A man has to be a saint to want to commit to a woman who has ridden the cock carousel, been married multiple times, has children, and all that. And if DT has misgivings about it, he’s just being human and a man. The problem with feminism and the modern permissive Western culture is that it demands nothing from women while making great demands from men at the same time. Forget about equality and all that.. what feminism is really about is restructuring society to suit the whims and fancies of women, and to what is good for them, at the great expense of most men… for example, the “shaming” of men who don’t want anything to do with single mothers and all their baggage.
That was pretty
ha
what is this, fan service?
If you don’t mind the “baggage” of whatever horrors she retains from her awful childhood, you should be willing to get past the ex husbands and the kids. They’re her kids, you wouldn’t be financially responsible for them. You seem to get along with at least one of them to the point of having little Norman Rockwell family fantasies. Why does it matter that she is not 24? She’s what, early 30’s? Big deal. I’ve seen photos of her on her blog, she looks slim and youthful and pretty. So why would she have to be in her twenties for you to want a relationship with her?
Anybody who commented on this without realizing that ten years, three kids, and two failed marriages irreversibly changes a person, quite possibly into someone you wouldn’t want to be emotionally entangled with, is out of their goddamned mind.
But the thing is, according to his blog posts, she is his best friend and they’re practically inseparable anyway. He was the power of attorney (or some kind of equivalent) when she was having her cancer surgery…they’re beyond tight, AND he is attracted to her. So he is already emotionally entangled with her.
Whoops, that was supposed to be posted as a reply to collapseofman, not a reply to the original post.
“You are friends and she’s not super old yet” isn’t quite the argument for marriage, ie. going to the dodgy pawn shop down in Chinatown to take over payments on some car with blood splattered on the ceiling and teeth marks in the trunk.
You don’t care that she was abused but not being 24 and having children is just way too much?