Nikol. Why do you have three kids and two ex husbands. Why do you have these things. I kind of love you. You are really smart and funny and an excellent writer. And you’re good looking! You clean up really well. You are the only person I’ve met in the last two years whom I could conceivably fall in love with. Why do you have to have this weird fucking baggage—I don’t care that you were born into foster homes, getting beaten and molested, having—seriously—getting locked into a room full of bees. Is that real, or did you fall asleep watching CANDYMAN and just absorb the movie as your own memories? But yeah, why. Why can’t you be 24 and with no kid, although– I do like her kids. I do like Trast, like- we could play fucking Dungeons and Dragons together.
Why. Why can’t more girls be like you. Or why can’t even one more girl be like you. Even girls who are famous and successful don’t have what you have. Is it all the pain? Like, are you just some freak aberration, the recessive smart genes crossing in a long family tree of white trash, and then… and then… the Kwisatz Haderach emerges.