I’m horny, and I would like to beat off, but I can’t. The reason is– I buy these special shrimp for my fish. They come in a huge frozen block and I have to saw off one little chunk for them at a time. Today I figured I would cut up a bunch all at once, since it’s a pain in the ass, and put them in a Ziploc® bag for future use. The shrimp smell awful, like rotten clams, and it’s that oily kind of smell, like garlic and onions have, that doesn’t come off you even after washing. The best you can do is kind of cover it up.
So I cut up a bunch of shrimp cubes. And then, retard that I am, I went into the bathroom and took a piss without thinking– without washing my hands. The smell was communicated to my penis.
So I’d like to beat off, but I can smell my cock from here. And when I start getting horny, and start picturing the chick from upstairs at work popping into my cubicle to shine my knob… she gets my pants open and looks up– appalled, even in the fantasy, at the rotten mollusk-stench.
It’s like if you ever brought mussels home from the beach as a kid, and then when you found them in your little pail the next day– that smell.
delicioustacos 
Why did you stop labeling your old stuff?
Surely you must have smelled the same smell with some of those skanks you fucked.
hahaha. call it seafood-musk
Oh “another Mary”, whoever you are, you just made me laugh so hard with that spot-on reply that I literally almost spit out my beverage 🙂 Bravo!