OKCupid: Online Now!

25 Sep

Ain’t that the motherfuckin truth; OKC blowing your game with the constant “Online Now” shit. I’m trying to appear aloof here. It’s like these people never tried to get laid before.

I’m trying to appear like the kind of person who doesn’t have to seek out dates on the internet when I’m seeking out dates on the internet. Like I’m too busy failing to return the texts of, you know, models and stuff who are constantly haranguing me for a date. Models and PhD’s and like United States Congresswomen. Supreme Court Justices, but hot. Tennis stars from Russia. I’m way too busy ignoring this army of gorgeous accomplished women who would give their left nut to go on a date with me to be browsing this site as constantly as this status indicator would have you believe. Just so you know.

4 Responses to “OKCupid: Online Now!”

  1. Anonymous September 26, 2012 at 2:12 am #

    You disgust me.

  2. Operator September 26, 2012 at 6:12 am #

    Hey kid, I’m pretty sure you can set it to so it makes it look like you are never online.

  3. UnleashTheBeef September 26, 2012 at 9:14 am #

    Add a disclaimer to your profile informing potential suitresses that you do not personally review messages as you are deeply involved in model, doctoral, and congressional vagina during waking hours, but that an available member of your harem will screen incoming correspondence and pass relevant information forward to you. Although acknowledging that a harem member isn’t otherwise occupied will reflect poorly on you, as well. Yeah, OkCupid fucks you.

    Also, you disgust me, kid.

  4. Pull The MF Stick Out People November 15, 2012 at 12:57 am #

    This is hilarious! I feel the same way. Reason I stumbled upon this in the first place. You are online at like 3 am on a Friday & don’t want all the dudes to notice that you have no life. Or you are bored & answering that never ending list of questions for the “matchmaker” LMAO.

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