11 Apr


At some point your dreams cease being satisfying. There’s no more fucking and flying. It’s only: a vampire is coming after me, but, sweet, I have a gun! Then the gun doesn’t work. Vampire rips off your face and you wake up. Look, there’s a hot chick, let’s fuck her. You go up to her and she starts yelling at you about politics. You wake up.

I had a dream about my old boss; he was yelling at me. A screener of some film had arrived. I had it in my hands to give to him right away and he was like “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THIS WAS HERE??!!??” Totally something he would do. So I told him “look, it JUST got here,” and then I punched him in the face over and over and over again. He fell down. Then he turned into my mom. I had just beaten up my mom. I woke up.

To my subconscious: I get it. I have problems. Quit fucking reminding me and just give me some imaginary pussy.

17 Responses to “Dreams”

  1. neal April 11, 2013 at 6:00 pm #

    u r funny

  2. emily April 12, 2013 at 12:51 am #

    this one is a doozie. (in light of it’s correlation to the previous post; etc.)
    your rage against the entities of varying BS are justified. but the transference onto , sort of, all women, is a little bit – well – palpable.
    every morning when i wake up with you– the first thing you do — is beat me.
    but it’s so loving.
    and i’d love to meet your mother sometime.

    you are a “real” mess.

    • sylviasarah April 12, 2013 at 4:25 pm #

      This makes me especially sad that I’ll never get to wake up with the one and only D.T. 😦

      • Little Miss S April 17, 2013 at 12:44 am #

        I’m sure you could if you wanted to.

      • sylviasarah April 17, 2013 at 12:48 am #

        Not without losing whatever amount of weight and any self respect I have.

      • sylviasarah April 17, 2013 at 12:48 am #

        Just kidding. I think we all know I wish I had the will to put down the donuts.

    • Anonymous April 14, 2013 at 9:35 am #

      Emily tries way too hard too establish that she has some greater connection to DT. He barely thinks of you though..

      • sylviasarah April 15, 2013 at 6:26 pm #

        I bet you think of him all the time. Do you sit with him and ask him what he’s thinking of? If he ever thinks about what it would be like if you could be together?

      • Anonymous April 16, 2013 at 7:34 am #

        Lol, you try SO hard, sylvia.

      • sylviasarah April 16, 2013 at 10:34 am #

        This is trying, you don’t want to see trying hard.

      • Anonymous April 16, 2013 at 10:55 am #

        …you’re right. I shudder at the thought of sylviasarah at full blast.. yeesh.

      • sylviasarah April 16, 2013 at 3:50 pm #

        read my blog if you really want to shutter

      • sylviasarah April 16, 2013 at 10:05 pm #

        😦 shudder

  3. Noppe April 12, 2013 at 10:27 am #

    I like your nose

  4. Alex April 13, 2013 at 2:16 pm #

    You’re losing it, bro. You need to get a new job so you have some material and don’t write just for the sake of it.

    • Anonymous April 13, 2013 at 2:44 pm #

      Does delicioustacos.com exist for you or him?

    • sylviasarah April 13, 2013 at 11:41 pm #

      Yeah, get a job and forget about dealing with your issues, broski.

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