Don’t Take Your Love to Town

12 Oct

Previously

She came home in at four in the morning. Passed out with a desk lamp blaring straight in her eyes. She’d been out riding a motorcycle with a male model who tends bar at (REDACTED). If you could cheat you would too. What you’re mad about is you can’t.

She went partying with cute boys. Good for her. Can’t be mad for her being the animal she is. I go to take out the trash and find some fucking Chinese fourteen year old bent over in front of me, what am I gonna I do. The problem is: women live in a world of Chinese fourteen year olds bent over. Cock onslaught out there. Literal god damn male models working at the boutique gentrification restaurant that serves lion meat. Tinder, full of comedians from TV.

I don’t want you to feel bad, I told her. It’s just that everything I felt for you got shut off like a light switch.

But I’m happy you had a good time.

A halfway attractive woman’s life: men falling out of the trees. Men so handsome your own face is a cruel joke. They’re six foot eight. Ride vintage Triumphs. Women, if your life is not like this: you’re ugly. I was gonna throw in that they speak five languages but who gives a shit. Only your face matters. Women are like us. I don’t dream about some worldly polyglot. I dream of a woman who sees past shallow things to fall in love with the special person I am. And she better be hot.

I’m mad that I don’t have a motorcycle. Jealous and inadequate. Some oaf from Kansas can get pussy back to his place from his bar. I wasted my life in an office. Sad that a thing I built up deflated so quick. But also relieved. Now back to normal life. Sit with the cat. Bed at ten PM while down the street men with chiseled faces get girls wet on the back of their Bonnevilles. Men without fulminant livers. I should get an Xbox.

50 Responses to “Don’t Take Your Love to Town”

  1. Father O'Hara October 12, 2015 at 7:50 pm #

    Is this the Mexican ho? The one whose been raped. by El Chapo? . You should’ve made it clear that outside dick is not OK!

  2. greatrednorth October 12, 2015 at 7:54 pm #

    Just get a dick job, via kickstarter

    • Fat October 12, 2015 at 8:12 pm #

      Hi I am a 12 year old boy.I live in Kabul.I love DT’s writings! Me,I am told I am very good-looking.Really good-looking.Soft brown eyes,cupids bow lips…I think you can see where this is going? So while I feel for ST and his,how do you say,angst,it’s a bit hard to be too sympathetic WHEN YOU’RE CHAINED TO A FUCKING BED AND YOU GOT SOME FAT SMELLY GOVERNMENT GORILLA WHO IS PAID BY THE ! IS COMING IN AND RAPING YOUR ASSHOLE 5 TIMES A DAY!FUCKKIT! I wanna go to LA,maybe drive for I bet.Shit here he comes!GET THE FUCK OFF ME ASSHOLE!

      • Hadji October 12, 2015 at 8:15 pm #

        That’s drive for Uber.

    • fappachino October 16, 2015 at 8:00 am #

      dickstarter.

      hope your liver/kidneys heal, dt. would be a sad day to one day pull up your gay little pink site and see some sort of R.I.P. message. or a “one last post” that you scheduled to go live in the event of your demise.

      don’t go out quietly like ALLCAPSBRO.

      go out in a blaze of fury and glory that (internet) historians will recall with mirth a hundred years from now.

      p.s. my cousin had a kidney scare because he ate mostly pork and not enough veggies. apparently when you overload your body with too much protein and not enough greens it can’t digest. maybe ease it baack with those fucking 1950’s housewife pork shoulder roasts and go a week eating more high-fiber veggies. or, juice. seems to work for cernovich. you’re ripped and all but he’s a goddamn gorilla.

      for sake of spurious comparison:

      gorilla mindset > delicious taco mindset

      -your loyal, borderline homo reader.

  3. bowler hat October 12, 2015 at 8:21 pm #

    “”It’s just that everything I felt for you got shut off like a light switch.””

    that’s the problem right there. a pillar of the manosphere should know better than to have “feelings” for a girl.

    • Anonymous asshole October 12, 2015 at 8:22 pm #

      Er no. Delicious Tacos is a pillar of modern American short fiction. Pillar of the manosphere he is most assuredly not.

      • Anonymous Asshole II:The Cuckolding of the Cup Holder October 25, 2015 at 10:04 am #

        Speaking of pillars, did you seriously put yours in that Interragangbang-trainwreck from twitter ?

        If so, I hope you ejaculated clown makeup.

      • bowler hat October 28, 2015 at 6:46 pm #

        fiction?

  4. Lee Holloway October 12, 2015 at 8:30 pm #

    Never thought I’d be hoping for comments from Atlanta Man and Anal Trauma, but please guys, rescue this pathetic chain.

    • Anonymous October 12, 2015 at 10:22 pm #

      preach

    • Atlanta Man October 13, 2015 at 10:37 pm #

      I want to see nude photos of you. Your neck marks are kind of hot because you like being choked. Do you scratch, bite, or both if a man with a larger than average penis is aggressive with you? Do you do theses things if a man touches cervix, or would you do them anyway just to be polite if you knew he was into it? I only ask because I am a pervert and in to submissive white women who have sex blogs and post on DT’s comments. Post naked pictures on your blog, blurry your face but I really need to see your body. It would do wonders for my chronic masturbation. Make the world a better place, get naked for frustrated future healthcare professionals struggling to master acid base disorders, you might just help save a life…..

      • Lee Holloway October 13, 2015 at 10:56 pm #

        Well, I AM a very charitable slut. I will definitely take your request into consideration.

    • Hubba Hubba October 26, 2015 at 8:14 am #

      Lee, you wanna put me in some chains?

      • Lee Holloway October 26, 2015 at 9:26 am #

        I prefer it the other way around 😉

    • withsexyresults October 29, 2015 at 8:25 pm #

      Hey why’s your blog gone private? Did someone identify you from your neck marks?

      • Lee Holloway October 29, 2015 at 8:29 pm #

        just being cautious. request access if you have a WP username. happy to add you.

  5. dericious tako October 12, 2015 at 8:32 pm #

    glad to see you didn’t kill yourself.

    getting pussy always helps. like in super mario where you get one of those green mushrooms and it keeps you going for just a little longer.

    but it’s not the final solution.
    the final answer is: write your damn book. climb that mountain and plant your flag at the top and let out a healthy yodel as someone who accomplishes what he truly wants to do.
    otherwise you’re just gonna linger as a wannabe-fag. wannabe hank moody bukowski L.A. underappreciated writer dark triad I-have-semi-internet-fame-and-slay-bitches-who-fly-in-to-see-me-and-then-leave

    p.s. you’re a fag.

    • seriouslypleasedropit October 13, 2015 at 9:32 am #

      Best anesthetic is actually fucking healing.

      • Atlanta Man October 14, 2015 at 3:28 pm #

        Your blog is alright, I am not into NRx but I can appreciate a different view. Your most recent post is pretty good, I once did a cycle and during my PCT was as close as I will ever get to understanding women. Having no sex drive for three and a half weeks was very strange-it was an experience I learned from, but do not recommend.

  6. pffffffftttsssssssiimmbllllllddddddnnnnnnnnn October 12, 2015 at 9:05 pm #

    You didn’t feel anything for this girl, who are you kidding. She’s a hooker for chrissakes. What were you planning on being her boyfriend in between her trips around the country to fuck geriatrics? No. You’re not that much of a sucker. Just trying to spin gold out of straw here. There’s no poignancy in this shit, stop trying to coax it out, it’s unconvincing. At least you got laid.

    The Dodgers are getting fucking hammered. They got that pitcher, Wood, on the mound (not anymore) who throws like a character from Dusty Diamond’s All Star Softball. Surprised they didn’t pull him after he gave up that three-run home run. I’m still rooting for them, though, if only because they got Utley and Rollins on the team. Fuck the Mets. And fuck Joe Torre for making Chase Utley the sacrificial lamb. Not one fucking suspension all season for a take out slide, Scott Cousins didn’t even get suspended for breaking Buster Posey’s leg. Now all of the sudden they’re gonna make an example out of Utley. I hope he comes back in game five and breaks somebody else’s leg.

  7. Ass Hammer UU --{ } October 12, 2015 at 9:50 pm #

    Had feelings… for a prostitute. Bahahhaha. Very bohemian, bro.

    Felt good how she spilled her guts to you, after she read that you “don’t judge” whores. Intimacy. And then bam! A ho is a ho is a ho.

    I’ve toyed with the concept of marrying an open prostitute, because at least she’s honest. The modern woman is no more pure and has no more value than the whore, but lies about it. But no. But, you don’t have a sense of Pure, do you? That’s why you’re a bitchass liberal.

    You wanna get past that worthless mexican whore? Go down to Tijuana, to Hong Kong bar and Adelitas, and watch the evidence materialize that she was never worth more than $40-60 an hour–that’s the going rate on top shelf mexican buttcheeks. Mingle for one that you actually get along with–a little intimacy makes all the difference.

  8. Echo Park Crack Dealer October 12, 2015 at 10:25 pm #

    It seems like if a girl likes your blog, she’s going to be pathologically cock-hungry and too honest for her own good. This site is a filter and the only ones who make it through are going to get banged out by some guy with a motorcycle who hates ducks.

    • Lou October 13, 2015 at 1:02 am #

      He hates ducks? Damn, that’s just twisting the knife.

  9. Anal Trauma October 13, 2015 at 1:34 am #

    Saw your beach picture on twitter – you look like a bloated tapeworm. Appears that just like your parasitical kin you like to eat shit too.

    “I dream of a woman who sees past shallow things to fall in love with the special person I am”.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…….HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Loser.

    This was a bad piece, even for you. I thought you went to bed at 9:30?

    The Triumph America is a nicer bike.

    • Lee Holloway October 13, 2015 at 9:35 am #

      While I don’t agree with your assessment of DT’s post or his body (he is hot as fuck), I love your commentary just the same. Anal Trauma when do I get to read YOUR blog??

      • Anal Trauma October 13, 2015 at 3:04 pm #

        I don’t have a blog because:
        a) I’m talentless
        b) I like to anonymously criticise those that dare to put themselves out there, while not suffering the same fate myself.

        your new stories are good. I could see a book of stories? The new format of adding photos of yourself is fantastic, and really adds.

        I hanker for a story involving incredibly tight jeans creating highly visible cameltoe and constant pressure on the pussy.

        Those are my thoughts.

      • Lee Holloway October 13, 2015 at 3:36 pm #

        Your thoughts are good ones. Want to be the editor of my book? Email me sometime (address is on my About page).

      • Gene Jeanie Jjerjerrod October 25, 2015 at 10:15 am #

        Yeah, talentless AT is right on about the story. Might make a good theme for a photo shoot. Think on it.

        If they still make em – Lee jeans, dude. Brand recognition.

      • Lee Holloway October 25, 2015 at 11:34 am #

        All suggestions are being taken into consideration. I do enjoy a tight pair of jeans.

  10. Anonymous October 13, 2015 at 10:55 am #

    This is just sad. You talk all this shit about learning to forgive yourself and your failings and your regrets and how you just want a human connection, but you can’t get past your own ego and the fact that a woman, whom you’ ve fixated on in search of some semblance of emotional reciprocity, is actually a person with needs and wants and an identity that exists beyond making you feel better about yourself.

    What’s the point of all this soul searching and gnashing of teeth about how empty you are if you’re not willing to put a cap on it at some point and move on? Go read “the will to change” by bell hooks and stop expecting some woman to come along and shock you into utilizing your self-flagellating style of self-awareness for something other than blog posts and empty sex.

    I would say enjoy your nadir, but it doesn’t seem like you actually HAVE a rock bottom. It’s just an endless slope down.

  11. hater October 13, 2015 at 12:04 pm #

    fag.

    • Hadji October 19, 2015 at 6:45 pm #

      LOL!

  12. incendiary comment October 13, 2015 at 2:15 pm #

    I pray to the one true God named All*h and hope your liver problems spread to your dick and balls and becomes some sort of rare form of uncurable cancer. And your dick and balls fall off painfully and you end up feeling some cathartic release from your previous cycle of work-eat-fuck-sleep-gym self-loathe. After losing your genitalia you finally leave the comfortable hedonistic womb known as Los Angeles and travel the world spreading your message of Love and Peace until one day a pack of n*ggers jump you and take everything from you except for the clothes on your back. And it will then be revealed that you were the second coming of Jesus Christ himself all along, but you had to go through the tedious journey of human depravity to be reborn as a Holy Savior.

    Nah, just kidding. love your writing man. keep up the good work, you wordsmith, you.

    • Hadji October 13, 2015 at 4:18 pm #

      As long as you’re not living in Kabul,chained to a bed and being ass hammered by some smelly ape,it’s a good day,that’s how I look at it.

  13. Atlanta Man October 13, 2015 at 7:06 pm #

    I have fucked a shitton of women but my top 20 were some of the baddest bitches ever(at the time I fucked them, I am sure most look like middle aged shit now). My top five in terms of looks were all awful human beings. One got pregnant by some other dude and tried to pretend it was mine(did not ever stand chance of me believing her), another fucked the entire NFL then tried to come back to me fat at 30, another fucked a richer guy left me came back turned lesbian then left for good, another married a very wealthy man (this poor bastard married a woman who had sex with the entire city), the last one was just a hot bitch I fucked once and never saw again. The lesson here being if a bitch is bad in terms of looks she is usually not good for relationships. Have sex with her and enjoy it, a relationship with this kind of woman is destined for sorrow.

    I have to study, end stage renal disease management ain’t gonna learn itself. Please Delicious Tacos make sure you have sex, make sure you write about it, make sure you post about it on this blog. I have jack shit going on in my life and I need entertainment. Also online teenage amature themed porn and lotion. Lots, and lots of lotion.

    • Anonymous October 17, 2015 at 12:00 am #

      Atlanta Man, thought about starting your own blog? Every time I find an interesting site you’re already commenting there.

      • hottentot October 17, 2015 at 8:28 am #

        he’s too busy pursuing a medical degree and laying 16-19 year olds with his cartoonishly large african-american peen

      • Atlanta Man October 19, 2015 at 9:05 am #

        When I am done and I get into my daily routine and finally start making money I am going to have some money and the ability to make my life interesting enough on the weekends to write about then I may start a blog. As for the immediate future my blog would read as follows : woke up , jerked off , studied , went to wards was wrong about everything got yelled at, went home, jerked off , studied. Repeat for 8 months with no money, dignity, free time , or pussy( worth writing about, or attractive enough to admit too). Life of Atlanta Man updated when not wondering how this shit is my life at 40- or jerking off. I have a patron so donate to help with lotion expenses.

    • Hadji October 19, 2015 at 6:49 pm #

      How do you do all that studying? They’d have to chain me to a desk to study that much.Kind of like they had to chain me to this bed to get me to accept a bunch of dicks in my ass.Not fun…

      • Atlanta Man October 19, 2015 at 9:55 pm #

        Think about the sports cars you want, the condo in the cool part of town, and the disposable income- and all the pussy that comes with it. Then accept the lack of social interaction in the short term for the gains long term, did I mention pornography and epic levels of masturbation and lotion by the gallon? Also on the few breaks or holidays avoid overdoing the recreational drug abuse and alcoholic binges and it is totally doable, read DT and try to get that Hollaway chick to post naked pictures to go with the choke bruised pics on her site to aid with the masturbation. I could care less about her writing because I am a visual masturbator- seriously post bare chested pics and vagina shots and I will read that shit girl I promise.

  14. theprofessor October 16, 2015 at 8:20 am #

    ! I m

  15. AB October 18, 2015 at 11:48 pm #

    I want to out-think you, but I can’t. I don’t know you, I just read your blog.

    • Hadji October 19, 2015 at 6:50 pm #

      What happened to the Hispanic ho?

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