No. I’ve had my prostate milked by a urologist to diagnose infection. Don’t want girls in my ass. And you don’t see many girls with such low self esteem that they’ll put in the effort. Or any.
Did have a date last week who licked my armpits. Tongued down my taint like a giraffe reaching for a high branch. She mentioned ass eating. I wondered if I ought to present. You don’t get it often. Maybe you should catch a falling star.
But when ass eating is on the table I’m too horny to take it. You get worked up and just push her on her back. All your dreams of toe sucking— let go and pop off. Once that’s done you can’t be bothered.
Her BJ. Life changing. She was British. Complained that I’d trimmed my pubes, precious balls and cock smell diminished. Just before I’d cum she’d pull her head off. Anyone else would misjudge it. You’d spray into cold air. But she sensed it, like a jaguar senses prey in the thicket.
It was the BJ gays brag about when they’re trying to suck you off. It’s really different, you won’t believe how intense it is. You can watch straight porn. I have meth.
I like eating pussy but I don’t like eating nasty pussy. I don’t like dragging it out until your hand forms an arthritic hook grinding her g spot. Ten minutes tops. Rub the meatpipe on the duvet to get hard. Vault on top of her, slip in all sloppy. This chick wished she had a dick grafted on her palate.
She also shaved my back. Then we went to see Christian art in Glendale. You can bash Tinder but where else, you know.