Good Job, Satan

9 Jan

Why was my deadbolt locked this morning. Was someone in the house sprinkling poison on my lips. Designed to make me crazy. Shrink my penis. Lower my IQ. Delete my Tinder matches. Erase my Microsoft Word documents– good, all garbage. Good job, Satan. Contaminate my foods with BPAs. I don’t even know what BPAs are. Get on Facebook and send my embarrassing resumé to all my high school friends who thought I was dead. Telling them I’m alive, just a loser.

13 Responses to “Good Job, Satan”

  1. hciB January 9, 2019 at 6:39 pm #

    Whiny Livejournal entries in 2019. You’re definitely going to get famous this way.

  2. hciB January 9, 2019 at 10:20 pm #

    Oh cool you’re reading my amazon reviews. Yes, meditation is going well. Thank you for asking. I did it just now. It certainly helps me not beat the fuck out of cretins on a daily basis; meditationwill help any person gain perspective outside of his transient emotions. “Meditation without bullshit” is a fine and useful book, unlike yours. You hold on to shit for years and years, stewing in your own pointless juices.

    Your book isn’t selling, and it isn’t going to sell. It’s going to do far worse than simple collections of your blog entries. Know why? Because there is zero market for a revenge fantasy written by a 40yo loser who hates the world for not adequately celebrating his “intellect”. You’re good at Livejournaling but are absolute shit at fiction.

    • delicioustacos January 9, 2019 at 10:23 pm #

      Do you have kids?

      • hciB January 9, 2019 at 10:33 pm #

        Stupid question.

      • delicioustacos January 9, 2019 at 10:40 pm #

        Tell us something else about you then

      • delicioustacos January 9, 2019 at 10:45 pm #

        I feel like you describe yourself as “redpilled”

    • dickycone January 10, 2019 at 8:51 am #

      I bought his book and enjoyed it. Kind of hoping he’ll do more post apocalyptic fiction.

  3. bowler hat January 11, 2019 at 7:00 am #

    LOSER is comparative.

    six figure salary, worked in the movie industry, six foot tall and ripped and not ugly. used to be a good writer. fairly internet famous. what a loser.

  4. Voltaicc January 11, 2019 at 1:06 pm #

    Plug in a thumb drive and right click > New > Briefcase. Then, from your PC, drag the folder of your Word files and drop it into the briefcase on the USB. Any time you want to back up your Word files, you right click the briefcase > Update. Works like a charm.

  5. Voltaick January 11, 2019 at 1:08 pm #

    I prob need to clarify that you still work out of the folder on your PC, the Briefcase just makes an exact copy of that folder every time you update.

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