Good Job, Satan

9 Jan

Why was my deadbolt locked this morning. Was someone in the house sprinkling poison on my lips. Designed to make me crazy. Shrink my penis. Lower my IQ. Delete my Tinder matches. Erase my Microsoft Word documents– good, all garbage. Good job, Satan. Contaminate my foods with BPAs. I don’t even know what BPAs are. Get on Facebook and send my embarrassing resumé to all my high school friends who thought I was dead. Telling them I’m alive, just a loser.

23 Responses to “Good Job, Satan”

  1. hciB January 9, 2019 at 6:39 pm #

    Whiny Livejournal entries in 2019. You’re definitely going to get famous this way.

    Reply
    • delicioustacos January 9, 2019 at 7:21 pm #

      Here’s hoping

      Reply
      • hciB January 9, 2019 at 8:54 pm #

        Fuck you, fagot. You’re gayer than Nipple Piercings.

      • delicioustacos January 9, 2019 at 9:20 pm #

        How’s meditation going

      • delicioustacos January 9, 2019 at 9:27 pm #

        Are you less jumpy or prone to minor fits of emotion, in reaction to reading a tweet or something?

    • A February 6, 2019 at 10:14 am #

      hciB –
      LMFAO look at you losing your SHIT just because you’re a fucking faggot ass incel.
      you’re on the fuckboi level, lol

      Reply
  2. hciB January 9, 2019 at 10:20 pm #

    Oh cool you’re reading my amazon reviews. Yes, meditation is going well. Thank you for asking. I did it just now. It certainly helps me not beat the fuck out of cretins on a daily basis; meditationwill help any person gain perspective outside of his transient emotions. “Meditation without bullshit” is a fine and useful book, unlike yours. You hold on to shit for years and years, stewing in your own pointless juices.

    Your book isn’t selling, and it isn’t going to sell. It’s going to do far worse than simple collections of your blog entries. Know why? Because there is zero market for a revenge fantasy written by a 40yo loser who hates the world for not adequately celebrating his “intellect”. You’re good at Livejournaling but are absolute shit at fiction.

    Reply
    • delicioustacos January 9, 2019 at 10:23 pm #

      Do you have kids?

      Reply
      • hciB January 9, 2019 at 10:33 pm #

        Stupid question.

      • delicioustacos January 9, 2019 at 10:40 pm #

        Tell us something else about you then

      • delicioustacos January 9, 2019 at 10:45 pm #

        I feel like you describe yourself as “redpilled”

    • dickycone January 10, 2019 at 8:51 am #

      I bought his book and enjoyed it. Kind of hoping he’ll do more post apocalyptic fiction.

      Reply
    • A February 6, 2019 at 10:16 am #

      hciB –
      beat the fuck out of cretins? LOLOLOL dude. we all know you’re not some tough guy, I mean cmon loser lmao.

      you sound like some broad who got fucked one too many times over. fucking bitter females like you crack me up.

      Reply
  3. bowler hat January 11, 2019 at 7:00 am #

    LOSER is comparative.

    six figure salary, worked in the movie industry, six foot tall and ripped and not ugly. used to be a good writer. fairly internet famous. what a loser.

    Reply
    • J.A.F.O. February 15, 2019 at 11:55 pm #

      Is that you, Vivian?

      Reply
  4. Voltaicc January 11, 2019 at 1:06 pm #

    Plug in a thumb drive and right click > New > Briefcase. Then, from your PC, drag the folder of your Word files and drop it into the briefcase on the USB. Any time you want to back up your Word files, you right click the briefcase > Update. Works like a charm.

    Reply
    • retarded from bpa January 31, 2019 at 1:11 pm #

      gotta try this

      Reply
  5. Voltaick January 11, 2019 at 1:08 pm #

    I prob need to clarify that you still work out of the folder on your PC, the Briefcase just makes an exact copy of that folder every time you update.

    Reply
  6. reader since 2012 January 31, 2019 at 10:50 am #

    look up PFOAs to get even more paranoid. i was browsing the cookware section at ROSS DRESS FOR LESS and one of the pans had a sticker that proudly said it was PFOA-Free. took a photo to remember to look it up later. went home and tried to read about what this new bad chemical is. but my brain is already too rotten from BPA, BPS, sodium lauryl sulfate etc. etc. to understand so i just add this as one other acronym to be aware of. its too late anyway. my dick’s already 1″ shorter than it was in 2012 and in 2012 it was 1″ smaller than when i recall measuring it in 2005. from 8″ to 6″…it’s fucking over….no girl will never want me unless i was a multi-millionaire high status guy. and even then she’ll cry rape somehow to take it all.

    if you live in a big city you just have to accept that you’re swimming in toxic poisonous air water food all the time. everything in the city will make you gay. especially if you live in la, sf or sd. back in 1990-2004, san diego was known as one of the the last “conservative” counties in socal. they voted for bush. 10 years later there’s now an entire neighborhood of homosexuals. every tech company in sd has females and faggots and trannies. inclusion. and you know what? good. let the system crash. everyone’s getting weaker and dumber and there’s nothing we can do about it but care about our own meager lives.

    anyway, there are ways to get rid of these toxins like sweating them out and eating only the purest organic groceries hand-picked by Fair-Trade workers, but within hours they’re back in your system. you can get a BATHMATE® to make your dick bigger. this was recommended by GoodLookingLoser back in the day. he’s friends with Cerno. it costs $200. to make a spare $200 you have to sit 4-8 hrs in front of the computer screen, your dick getting more and more deprived of oxygen from being in that unmasculine and unnatural seated position.

    i could have a bigger dick bigger muscles more money better car big house etc etc but instead i’ll just continue being poor and masturbating to the xvideos results for “amateur teen wearing socks dildo”. if that makes me gay for touching my own dick for stimulation then so be it. the entire industrial/postindustrial world is gay. the only non-gay move at this point is to move out into the wilderness. i would die within 2 days. maybe that’s the solution to all these troubles. maybe that’s what chris mccandless planned to do all along.

    Reply
    • reader since 2012 January 31, 2019 at 11:17 am #

      p.s. there’s cute girls who work at ROSS. many of them are mexican. every single ROSS i’ve been to lately has been staffed with cute young women.

      but if you want azn pussy so much why not just go hang out in ktown…tons of college azns in westwood/santamonica/etc. little saigon is, what, a 1 hour drive away. there’s gonna be lunar new years festivals everywhere. you don’t need tinder matches. you just need to get out there, man! and like, start with “hey”. get a motel room near a high-chink zone and just walk around. do something difference. just being white is enough. having a certified pre-owned suburu and salaried job just sweetens the deal for them. you’re swimming in pussy and but you complain of thirst. it’s really confusing. your readers don’t know whats really going on. maybe that’s the allure of your fiction.

      Reply
  7. robust & full ballsack after 7 days nofap nosex February 1, 2019 at 12:38 am #

    satan exists and hes suppressing your book sales. thumb firmly on the scale. the moment you die from filipina jungle syphillis is the moment he’ll yawn and let your book fly to #1 on amazon and the nyt best sellers list. oprah and ellen will talk about ‘Finally, Some Good News’ in a way that makes it sound like it has historical relevance during the 2010’s period of peak toxic masculinity. they’ll call it poignant, and interpret it as a romance novel that celebrates women.

    since you plan to have no kids no wife then some rat-faced “development agent” will buy the rights for $250000, then he’ll spark a bidding war between annapurna films and focus features. the adaptation will gross $100MM on a $10MM budget. hands will rub and the profits will be rolled back into more rape dungeons and kosher rib eye steaks.

    you know that saying, “do what you love and you will never truly work”…its bullshit. you love writing, so do i, but after a while it does become a chore, especially if you’ve got to deal with shit like windows 10 msword and the headache of formating into createpspace or kdp or whatever its called now. then you have to deal with 20 different commentors calling you a faggot because they got tired of calling others faggot on 4chan. its all so tiresome but this is the reality we’re stuck in now. entropy. things do get better but they can also get really bad if you make one significant mistake. that one truism you said in another post, focus on actions and not results. that’s probably the best “advice” in all of your writing so far. focus on the joy of doing something and try to minimize the painpoints. forget about the marketing chore. forget the book sales. forget the retarded comments that provide no value. keep doing what you’ve done before, which is produce good content. don’t force it. just be honest and let it flow. you’re doing well as a salaryman and hey that’s ok in its own comfy stable way. you know that and you experience it and mentioned it here. protect it. having a job sucks but having no income is somehow much worse despite the invigorating freedom. its subjective. grass is always greener, etc.

    Reply
  8. Aden Conrad October 29, 2022 at 2:47 am #

    This is a great post thhanks

    Reply

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. I’m Turning Retarded | delicioustacos - February 10, 2019

    […] time I woke up and the deadbolt was locked, with no memory of it, and no sense memory of turning it. The distinctive brushed bronze. Was the […]

Leave a reply to retarded from bpa Cancel reply