If you end up like me it’s not so bad. But I failed. I tried hard to meet and marry a woman for 30 years. I couldn’t do it. I can’t like them and have them like me at the same time, without it blowing up.
My options now are tropical places with horny poor women. Which is not bad. Not unappealing at all. I need about $250K more to do this. I have a path to get there.
There’s deep sadness like a physical pain. Like a sore on your gums. Something you feel as 1 out of 10 most of the time. Then it flares up when you bite a carrot. I got away from it for a minute. Now I’m feeling it. Not an urgent burning house feeling, like I felt most days those 30 years. It’s a harbinger of death feeling. White hairs on a dog’s muzzle. Like it’s too late. The relief of giving up is real. But the thing that will kill you, that you used to agitate yourself to escape, is still there. It just won.
It won, and it is what it is. There are good aspects. Like my savage OCD, hideous tormenting bicameral inner voices and depression etc. etc. won’t be propagated. That’s good. But also nice eyes and a good size brain. Oh well.
I’ll find another way to serve the world, the next generation, and it’s really not so bad. Completely tolerable. I enjoy getting out of bed and looking at the flowers.
But you don’t want to end up here.
Deep sadness like physical pain seeing Costa Rican couples on the beach, the guy’s bald, the woman has that luxurious long Mutiny on the Bounty tropical maiden hair, their one kid’s building a sand castle or digging a pit or something, and their little one, still in a diaper, is running around yelling BLOOP BLOOP BLOOP. Running in circles and figure eights, they’re watching her laughing and they hug each other. Motherfucker. Bloop bloop bloop she says.
No bloop bloop bloop for me.
The big complaint people had about me had no merit. It was why should I take advice from you. You’re a loser, etc. They say this because everyone tells you how to live. I never did this. I just reported my experience.
But this one time I’ll tell you what to do.
Don’t let her go.
delicioustacos 
She’s gonna go regardless. Your relative merit has nothing to do with it, as they’re trained always be looking over your shoulder for something better.
You get another one, and wait for the inevitable.
Who the hell do you guys choose, and why?
Really moving piece. Perfect build up and ending. I always thought it was amusing, and a little depressing, that people thought you were giving advice, or that you were positioning yourself as a model of some kind of envious life.
I’ve never thought it was a good idea to live like you, even though I kind of have done a dimestore version of it, but this advice is good, and I’ll do my best to follow it.
on the bright side you have frens who can say bloop bloop bloop in the comments section 😀
It’s pretty clear by now that many of us got psyoped into wanting and having casual sex, mainly through mass media (tv shows, music, movies, etc.). DelTacos reported such experiences from his own life and also communicated the thrills of doing it. By now if you haven’t made several millions of monie$ from the 2001-2022 economic boom, and if you haven’t found a *wholesome*, sane younger fertile woman to marry and have offspring with, you are basically locked into the Degenerate Lifestyle. The consolation prize: access to prime pussy worldwide, of legal age all the way up to gilfs (if that’s what you’re into because you got psyoped into liking older women). Each of us can continue to waste energy hating on the “globalists” for psyopping us into the degen life of being without wife and children. Or embrace the possibility that many of us don’t have the patience or loving demeanor to be husbands and fathers in the first place. So in conclusion, maybe everything that has happened the past 20 years is all “a good thing” in the grand scheme.
Yeah
The worlds upside down
We were played
Other hollyweird guys who are unmarried and childless:
aaron eckhart
luke wilson
leo dicaprio
james franco
jon hamm
d’Tacos is in good company. we also don’t know what the future holds, could be good could be horrors beyond imagination. so the smug fucks with families and houses, even if they are truly happy, they might get utterly rekt soon if the big “SHTF” situation finally happens. we’ve already seen how insane the past two years have been, depending on where you live. aussies and canadians are still under lots of restrictions. things are trending towards “worse” with more supply chain issues. shanghai is under lockdown. buckle up.
So there was one… your first love?
by the time you make that $250K more, you’ll feel like you need another $100K on top, due to the HYPAHINFLAAAATION. plus Duterte will probably require moar BOOSTERS for you to qualify as FULLY-vaccinated, and thus cleared for entrance into the Fillypeens. but you’re a man of focus and determination, Tacos my boy. i trust that you will make it, and spend your retirement years banging out those horny poor women until your last breath.
Mad how DT almost certainly has his life put together more than the majority of us in the comment section, and we feel compelled to give him advice.
DT, you are well aware that part of the benefits of therapy is that you get to straighten out trauma. Essentially, you get to learn truths and wisdom that would have been necessary for the younger you to understand to have made different decisions. E,g “don’t let her go”/”let yourself love and learn to conquer that idea that you’re unlovable and they’ll always leave” – easier said than done, but many of us needed to learn this since childhood.
It’s clear that by the time you publish these posts, you’re already past the pain and dissatisfaction with life that is present in the words. It’s part of the benefits of writing.
And you probably still have a couple of decades left in your life, hopefully. And you just told us to “not let her go”.
I’d just like to point out that you picture yourself in a decade, and picture what decisions you’d like to have made at this point in the present that’d leave you with little regrets at that point in the future. And start to do that now.
It’s basically the same advice you just gave us. I’m trying to remind you to try to do it too.
Also, to just be pedantic
“…my savage OCD, hideous tormenting bicameral inner voices and depression etc. etc. won’t be propagated. That’s good. But also nice eyes and a good size brain. Oh well.”
You very well know that your OCD and inner voices and depression are direct fruits of that good sized brain. (that being said “bicameral inner voices” is an outstanding phrase)
You’ll make a great and kind and attuned parental figure. Even if not for your biological kids, thank God you realize that and are finding other ways to have a positive impact on people’s lives.
I hope you continue to have good luck, DT. With the birds, nature and with other sources of beauty that you have managed to identify in your life.
There is a theory about how this your attraction to nature is an attraction to the “great feminine”, in that it is nourishing and beautiful. I’m delving into woowoo spiritual theory here. But I know you must have felt the nourishing and satisfying feeling that comes with being connected to nature.
The punchline is, do that for a few months or a year, learn to get your orgasms from the beauty of nature and you’ll find yourself needing women less (women in this school of thought are the “mundane feminine”.
Right, enough of the woowoo. Still wishing you good luck, DT.
Bloop bloop bloop.
Hey DT, you just gotta be open to it.
I’ve been reading your work for a decade plus, slayed a bunch of primo ass in late 00s, early 10s ATX, found one to settle down with and now we both make 6 figures in between watching my kid do his bloop bloop bloop thing.
it’s just fine. the lingering pain you feel, it’s still there. in this situation it stems from knowing the country/world/species is doomed and my kid will have to live with the worst of the collapse.
point is, you’re not missing anything. but thank you for everything you’ve shared, because I don’t think I would’ve made it to this point without it
I’m in Miami with her right now.
She asked me not to kiss her anymore because she doesn’t quite feel the same as she did.
Not to touch her the same way I have over the last year.
Now here I sit, she tells me this on the 1st day of a 6 day vacation here. We are in a 2 bedroom condo. We slept together the night before our flight, like always, and today she tells me “thats your bedroom.”
You can not let her go all you want, but all the same, one day she lets you go. And experience by experience you slowly become Delicious Tacos. No one wants to have it turn into this, but like a train with a 3 mile breaking distance and a broken down truck 2 miles ahead its a slow motion accident we all have to watch coming from a decade out.
These hoes are awful. She couldnt tell me a week ago so I could at least have not gotten on the plane? I don’t care about the refund or the money. She could have come here and gotten fucked by dozen new guys and it would be better than me having to spend time with her after she told me that.
I can already feel it bro. The conductor has engaged the brakes but the writing is on the wall. Most everything I’ve done in my life towards a family was a waste of time. Far better to have stayed a degenerate doing random pills at raves so I could end up with kidney failure at 37 and 2 weeks to live on the ventilator. Nobody tells you, but this is worse.
If you dont care about money.. The moment she tells you “that”‘s your bedroom”, I would pack my stuff and leave without telling her anything.
Very least: get back home, spend a week on your own doing what you like. You will feel better than just beeing a doormat.
Bonus points for doing exercise and weight lifting.
I stayed.
Its been a few months. I don’t regret staying for the entire trip. No better way to cement all of the red flags deep within your psyche than to experience all of the consequences of your ignorance.
I saw the sunrise most mornings on my own. Spent nights on the beach, made some new friends. Had good food.
Of course on the last night she wanted to fuck. I obliged, but I knew it was the last time. I suspect she was hoping to end the trip on a “high” note for me so that I’d pick up the phone when she called afterwards. Whether that was her intent or not it cemented my resolve to never pick up.
If I meet another girl like her I’ll know better next time.
Last line hit me pretty hard.
I think your current despair over not having kids will make you a better and more patient dad when/if you finally do have them
Mr. Tacos, our Heavenly Father has a plan for you! It is not to late to choose to live a life of love and righteousness, to become forgiven of all past mistakes and transgression and be made whole through the blood of the Savior. You are a beloved son of God, and he has many things in store for you! He has put you on this earth to suffer challenge and hardship so that your spirit may be perfected and you can become like his son Jesus Christ!
Lds.org !
just find someone, make a decision to stick with them no matter what, and have a family. they have to be all in too, then you work together to make it work. even if its some woman from a tropical place (would that actually be bad?). you’re not too old. do it.
There’s always somebody worse than you: i’m like you but out of shape and average height.