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Bio from Me & Nikol’s Aborted Internet Dating Advice Column

17 Jun

Cornelius J. Tacos is an underemployed drunkard living in squalor in an undesirable area of Los Angeles. He has no money, no ambition, and his face looks like it got hit with a shovel.  His car is the color of primer, and the A/C is busted and the windows don’t roll down.  And YET he still gets tons of dates, sex, and relationships, often with not bad looking nineteen year olds, off the internet.

Nikol Hasler is a twice-married single mother of three who lives in a decaying stucco house in Van Nuys with a cadre of rude drunks.  She is an alumna of the Wisconsin state foster care system—the Harvard of child sexual abuse—with all the self–esteem issues, broken sexuality, and lifelong substance abuse that that entails. AND YET she still meets and dates tons of handsome, funny, and rich men off the internet. Often they are of above average height with penis girths up to one and one half standard deviations above the norm. Continue reading