Tag Archives: euthanasia

Diary 2/24/12: Nikol’s Living Will

14 May

Nothing funny about this motherfucking shit: I am going to be the executor of Nikol’s living will.  Because she is going to die. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow.  But soon, and for the rest of her life.

She has no hair now and no eyebrows, and pukes so much that her stomach and/or esophagus is ulcerated and she vomits fountains of blood.  I saw some on the toilet seat.  We both remarked that it was good that it wasn’t black blood.  Because… why is it again? Because black blood means that it’s internal bleeding.  That the blood has somehow seeped between organs and sat there and blackened.  If you are puking black blood, you are really in trouble.  Where the fuck did we learn that, HOUSE MD?

Whatever– my view is regardless of the color blood you are shitting or puking, you are well and truly fucked and thinking the red blood is so great is merely hair-splitting.

She is going to die and when that is real close to happening she wants me to pull the plug if necessary.  She has no relatives she trusts to pull this off without chickening out, and since she’s a product of the foster care system there is no one who takes legal precedent.  So when her brain has liquified, I’m to give the order: cease all resuscitation efforts or whatever the fuck.  Then I’m gonna sit there and hold her hand until the machine goes BEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPP.

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