Any Fun Plans for the Weekend?

7 Sep

I’m gonna fuck a goat and set a school on fire.  I’m gonna inject my wang with saline so it’s nine inches long and four inches wide and then run naked through a church service. I’m gonna eat a Volvo 240 station wagon and shit out a perfectly sculpted steel statue of Minnie Pearl fully nude delivering an infant Kenny Rogers while forest creatures look on in awe. I’m gonna grow six extra tits and suckle a pack of needy orphans.  I’m gonna huff household cleaning products ’till my eyes look like an albino rabbit and take a journey that is at once within myself and also to the outermost reaches of the cosmos.  It will last a lifetime but when I look at my watch only seconds will have passed.

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5 Responses to “Any Fun Plans for the Weekend?”

  1. eric September 7, 2012 at 4:10 pm #

    Whatever you decide to do, we want pictures. USA! USA! US–wait a sec, I’m Canadian- USA! USA! fuck your meat! fuck your meat! Have a nice evening.

    Reply
  2. Anonymous September 7, 2012 at 11:34 pm #

    soooooooooo predictable.

    Reply
  3. Anonymous September 12, 2012 at 11:52 am #

    wanna meet up at (REDACTED)

    Reply
  4. Anonymous September 13, 2012 at 7:52 pm #

    Reel off several needlessly specific cultural references also.

    Reply
  5. J.A.F.O. July 13, 2018 at 8:29 pm #

    I hate to say it but you do your best shit when you’re mad.

    Reply

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