I feel bad now. I was genuinely moved by your blog post about the ass speculum. Or rather, the vaginal speculum, not intended for use in the ass, being inserted into your ass so another performer could spit jizz she had just sucked out of a guy’s huge dick, which had been primed to ejaculation by fucking you in the ass, back into your ass, whence you would drip it into a cup and she and you would drink it from a straw. Or something. Frankly the chain of events was a little difficult to follow but I understood the larger point that you showed up thinking you were gonna do a 3 way with a guy and a chick and get fucked in the asshole as part of it but were presented, without foreknowledge, with a gigantic plexiglass spreading tool and told you would have to have it open and abrade your asshole in the “piledriver” position. Then get fucked in the ass with your rectum torn and bloody and ragged from this thing. It sounds horrible, and you should have walked away, but you did it anyway, out of fear you wouldn’t be able to work again if you said no. I’m sorry that happened to you.
I was horrified by the image of the giant H.R. Giger looking tool; picturing you showing up for a quasi-ordinary day’s work and having it sprung on you that you would be probed with it, and fresh warm jizz spat directly into your intestines. Who jerks off to this. You had to smile while they were doing it, I bet. I don’t know. I’m not gonna watch the video.
But also, just… the blog post with its misspellings and fucked up grammar; seeing you less polished, before some professional who does not get paid to have a pussy waded in and made it look like credible video game journalism– suddenly it became clear that you are a church girl from the Ozarks who got off the bus and had to sell her butthole and cooch to the type of person who will spring an unexpected ass speculuming on you. And: who made you this way. The type of man who is a hellfire preaching church leader who moves his family out to the sticks so no one’s around to get between him and your bald twat.
Who did this to you. Who does this to all these girls. Who fucking does this, and how are there so many of them. How has every girl I’ve ever been really close to been molested. Maybe it’s, you know, I don’t consider them “close” until they tell me that story. But there’s always that story. There’s usually more than one guy. Sometimes there are many and they pass you around. How does a group of people do this. Are other people a different species. How is this shit that happens every day even conceivable. You were a little baby once, before whoever this was showed up and hurt you. Broke you.
This is not the feeling I expected when I googled your name and “anal.”