Hey Birds:

30 Jan


So I hear cats are killing two billion of you per year.  Listen up: you can FUCKING FLY, for Christ’s sake. If cats were taking out penguins that’s one thing, but you can FUCKING FLY. You sit on a telephone wire all day. If you can’t keep an eye out in your five minutes on the ground eating some old woman’s stale Wonder Bread and FLY AWAY when you see a cat, I have no sympathy. Good riddance, you winged jerkoffs.

6 Responses to “Hey Birds:”

  1. Oldcat January 30, 2013 at 8:54 pm #

    Cats don’t shit on my car.

    Fuck birds.

  2. Cakes and Shakes... January 31, 2013 at 5:47 am #

    Birds are dirty and stupid, but they sure do sing pretty.

    • pffffffftttsssssssiimmbllllllddddddnnnnnnnnn January 31, 2013 at 10:58 pm #

      Yeah, I’ll take birds singing over the murderous screams of stray alley cats all hours of the night when they go into heat during the summer. I hate cats; they’re evil. They’ll lay on your face and suffocate you while you’re asleep, and they’ve been known to steal newborn baby’s vitality through black magic.

      Hey, DT, you ever read John Fante? I stumbled across a book called “Ask the Dust” that’s supposed to be good. Apparently Bukowski was heavily influenced by this guy, so we’ll see if it’s any good.

  3. A♠ January 31, 2013 at 5:56 am #

  4. Anonymous April 5, 2013 at 8:43 pm #


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