Unemployment Diary: Reason for Being

12 May

There is no purpose to my life. No purpose to getting out of bed. Still. What was my purpose before? Pleasing assholes who can’t be pleased, who were mercurial and cruel, for barely enough money to live off of, and nothing to look forward to but a lifetime of climbing up from the bottom of the assholes to the middle of the assholes. Chasing the privilege of being scared of the assholes above you and contemptuous of the assholes beneath you. Seeing people under you as simpering, grating disposable strivers, dogs rolling over when hit with a stick. Fuck that. You think things suck now, remember how much they sucked before. You think going to work would stop you from being nuts but work drives you nuts, too. Just in a different way.  This way I can go nuts on my own terms.

There is danger in solitude but there’s worse danger in the company of idiots. I’ve seen the movie industry, the TV industry, the book industry, what these things are really like. There is no place for me in this world.  I’ve done some traveling, some writing, I’ve met some girls, made some friends. Seen the stars in the desert, whales breaching in the ocean. Attack ships on fire off the rings of whateverthefuck. But mostly it’s been drinking and jerking off in my sweaty apartment. Fine.  It’s what I was born to do.

5 Responses to “Unemployment Diary: Reason for Being”

  1. Zack Hunter May 12, 2013 at 1:43 pm #

    We create the reason.

  2. sage May 12, 2013 at 3:03 pm #

    Wait, wait, wait. Tell us about the book industry. I don’t give a shit about others, but I’m interested in that one. I’m trying to break in. I know I’m doomed. I still want to know.

  3. Deckard May 12, 2013 at 4:00 pm #

    Roy Batty’s dying speech in Blade Runnner!

    “…and now all those moments will be lost, like tears…in rain. Time to die”

  4. Ruxman May 13, 2013 at 2:19 am #


  5. Attack ships on fire? What the… What did you go on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland?

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