image stolen from eharmony.com
I want to chain you to a pipe. Stop taking birth control. Move into my sweaty apartment. Let go of your possessions. Your pets. I’ll ladle water down your gullet. Sop up your waste. You’ll live off fruits I baby bird down your throat as I impregnate you again and again. Build a bunker underground for our hundreds of offspring. With whom I’ll also breed.
Let me cocoon you to my futon in 1,000 layers of Saran Wrap until you’re an atrophied putrifying jelly. Just a mouth hole and a little bit of face poking out. Only sensory input is my Q tip tickling your eyelids.
Let me bang your fart gas into my aorta with a sharpened turkey baster. Let me war paint with your period. Squat over my face and give me your diarrhea as bronzer. Get AIDS and cut my name into your neck and let me roll in thorns and shower in your dripping AIDS blood. Chew out my eyes then spit them down my dickhole as we 69 to REO Speedwagon. I want to weasel my whole being into your ridgy colon. Shit me out on your palms and lick me off. I need you, I need you to need me. How about it.
delicioustacos 
let us know how it goes
Make sure you split the bill.
Fag
how romantic. this post is so sweet it gave my eyes diabetes
You’ve obviously given this some thought. This left me with a somewhat similar level of distaste as seeing parts of the first Human Centipede.
I like it – it doesn’t seem too eager.
Awww.
Wedding vows complete.
A thought hit me – ever thought about tackling trailer park chicks? I am sure your desires wouldn’t be too far out of the ball park for them – may lead to true love. Imagine an Asian trailer park chick.
You had me up to REO Speedwagon. Hall and Oates, however, would be an entirely different matter.
are you sure you needed to stop smoking heroin