Why Don’t You Write About James Deen

4 Dec
birch 3

image from wikipedia

Because who fucking cares. Woke up today and prayed: Lord make me a channel of thy peace. My dad’s in the ICU. Looks like he won’t make it. Lord let me seek to comfort rather than be comforted. Let me be a good son and brother. He’s been sick for 20 years. Used to have to put on a hazmat suit to see him. Pressurized room so germs don’t blow in. I think about this picture of him with me as a baby on his back. He’s taking me on a walk in the woods. Near my uncle’s place by the lake. White birches in summer. The man who showed me my first cloud. My first bird. I’m about to crack, but: he might make it. Hold it together until you know. Go to work, be of service at my job. Save money to get to the trees. At night I drive homeless guys to AA so they don’t die. James Deen is fucking trivial.

Of course I wrote about James Deen. Something like: of course he’s a rapist. I believe women because I’m a man. I never raped anyone. But I’m stunned by this. Never raped anyone but the day is young. Lunch break, who knows. Women think nothing of coming back to your house drunk. When you’re a public aggressive lecher. Hours of foreplay then a noncommittal “no” at the last instant. Every man must be a rapist except me. I regret not being a rapist. No consequences, we’re told. You get away with it. You’re celebrated. You have to commit ten rapes to get in the secret frat that funnels you illuminati gold.

I believe men are savages because I’m one. And women are either unfathomably stupid or secretly want to be raped. I’m a scrawny aging cripple but I can still overpower any woman except 8 MMA fighters. And one or two fat broads from World Star videos. Yet they come to my house drunk and tell me “no.”

What the fuck did they expect. I got naked and bent over in front of the most publicly aggressive porn star ever. What happened next shocked me. I, a porn star famous for being degraded, dated a porn star famous for degrading women. For six years. What happened for 30 seconds 4 ½ years in shocked me. In retrospect. After I continued dating him and enthusiastically enjoyed similar acts for a long time, saying nothing.

No woman can ever be doubted. Accountable. What they want is to hang you for consensual sex. Fortunately I can’t get laid.

I wrote about Bill Cosby too. It was fake and stupid. I threw it away. All topical writing is garbage. Yet I’m thrilled when this gets posted to reddit. That gets 50,000 people to the site which gets 50 people to the real shit that’s actually good. Plus, one good sentence in that 50 Shades review. 1982 Jerry Garcia– I had it, even then.

I don’t get paid for this. So I get to do what I want. I have no feelings about James Deen. Neither does anyone else. What you see are money agendas. Don’t get fired agendas. Deen’s friend stuck up for him. Mob came for her. She gets fed by selling her face and spirit to Buzzfeed who sells it to goodshop.com. So she had to say “I believe all victims. Especially sex workers. This week get 20% off on goodshop.com with promo code RAPE.” Stoya’s partner explained why her site still has James Deen: he’s famous. We need money. No one feels anything about James Deen. Or mass shootings. Or rape culture. Donald Trump, Gamergate. Any of it. None of it matters, everyone knows it, everyone who makes web sites with ads just has to pretend it matters like a Verizon rep has to pretend the system can’t give you a refund.

My page views are in the toilet. I don’t care. I work a day job for money. This is my fun. Go to bed at 9 to wake up at 5 and write about how I can’t write. Make thousands of pages of garbage. Comb through on weekends. Find one good paragraph. Post and wait for comments: ten versions of “fag.” I do it for the love. I’ll take another five years to write another book that’s 50 pages long and sells 700 copies. If it took 50 years to write a 5 page book that sold 7 copies I’d do it. I don’t have a choice.

Well why not write a book about James Deen. Sell 100,000 copies. Like the man said: if you have to ask, you’ll never know.

53 Responses to “Why Don’t You Write About James Deen”

  1. Schlafwandler December 4, 2015 at 4:05 pm #

    Keep your head up.

    You’ve helped more people than you think.

  2. Kratom December 4, 2015 at 4:46 pm #

    You sound like you could use some Kratom.

    It’s an herbal remedy. Made from powdered leaves. Relieves anxiety and promotes a feeling of well-being.

    Enter promo code: “Fucknuts” for a special 5% discount.

    P.S. Sucks to hear about your dad.

    • Graybusch December 4, 2015 at 9:01 pm #

      No, I don’t believe you give a shit about his Dad you just want to sell him Kratom. Everyone always offering him advice, can’t a man just vent and be heard? His writing seems to be therapeutic. You know get all the thoughts running crazy through your head onto paper and perhaps feel better after but I don’t know I’m not DT.

      Also only 700 books sold? That’s a god damn shame. It should be on the mandatory reading lists across the nation starting in the 2nd grade I think it’s a little too intense for the K-1st grades though, you know?

      • Lee Holloway December 4, 2015 at 9:06 pm #

        I don’t know, I read a couple stories to my first grader. He was into it.

      • P at R obertson I n C reamy K etamine S eduction December 4, 2015 at 10:15 pm #

        To all those not in the 700 Club:
        It’s three bucks you Plebes.

      • Kratom Advisory Board December 5, 2015 at 5:42 pm #

        Hi, this is Kratooey with the Kratom Advisory Board.

        Thank you for your feedback regarding Mr. Kratom’s recent statement. While we understand your concerns, we stand behind his message, because Caring is the stated mission of the Kratom Ambassador Community. It’s even in our founding charter!

        While we did not know Delicious Dad personally, we have kept him in our hearts and prayers since first learning of his health issues. It is the Kratom Philosophy–“the Kratom Way”–that all Kratom-unaware individuals be treated as fellow Kratomoons, who have not yet found themselves; so Dad was one of us, and I will gladly double down with a heartfelt “Sucks to hear about your dad.” Dementia is a tragedy and at least the suffering is over. We do not agree with those who’ve said that “if you have to live in a vacuum, you might as well be shot into space”, or similar inconsiderations and unfuzzied antisparkle and unsoftened darkenings.

        As a long-time fan of Mr. Tacos (normally I just call him Delicious), I disagree with your view that the 700 sales figure is cause for disappointment. 700 is 2.333333333 times the number of Kratom-unaware individuals that it took to hold the Hot Naked Gates against an army of illiterate Perusers. Imagine what a team of more than twice that many Kratom-conscious readers can accomplish, if we unite to not discourage Mr. Delicious with book shaming and fag calling.

        [And I wrote a good nonfiction book and nobody bought one.]

        Thank you, blessings, and you won’t see us but we’ll see you,

        Krakatooey

        9th degree Kratom shaman
        Fan of the arts, reader of the classics
        *I am not a salesman*

        Special: 20% off your first sack or foily if you match dixie cups with me bro, as long as you don’t niqqer lip.

        Legal notice: Any statements made by any of the individuals who have recently been observed “hanging around” outside the Kratom International Headquarters–the “Mothership”–who may assert to be former Kratom Ambassadors should be immediately assumed untrue, and do not reflect the views or values of the Kratom Advisory Board or our community. You may notice that these individuals have yellowing or jaundiced eyes and facial complexion, frayed or frizzy hair, blistering or burnt lips, general disheveled presentation, pants pockets pulled outward, signs of early balding, shoes and gloves with no toes or fingers, a shiftless or frenzied demeanor, and a tendency to mine trash cans for soiled little girl panties; these are known characteristics of people who should not be trusted, and are not symptoms of prolonged Kratom use.

      • Graybusch December 5, 2015 at 8:36 pm #

        Well Lee it doesn’t surprise me your first grader is more mature than others.
        And seriously if you’re not in the 700 club you need to be. The day I bought my copy I got laid…just saying.
        Also it’s not book shaming DT it’s shaming the readers who won’t shell out the 2.99 to this great man who delivers great content when he can while still busting his ass at a 9-5.

      • Lee Holloway December 5, 2015 at 8:54 pm #

        I bought it the day it came out. Why would anyone not buy it? What is wrong with everyone?

        I may have been kidding about my first grader (I will give it to him in a couple years) but it definitely should be required reading.

      • Graybusch December 6, 2015 at 5:51 am #

        I wasn’t calling you out Lee for the 700 club was just replying to each comment with each new paragraph

      • Lee Holloway December 6, 2015 at 10:32 am #

        I knew you weren’t but I was. Three dollars! No excuse.

      • Kratom December 6, 2015 at 12:06 pm #

        no need to get butthurt, Graybusch. by the tone of your comment, you *could* use some kratom.

        we’re all anons commenting on another anon’s blog where he writes about nutting in 3rd world hookers, his distended nut sack, etc. etc.

        yeah it sucks to hear about his dad and all and i could throw out a few extra hail mary prayers tonight whilst kneeling by my wooden religious symbol, but at the end of the day: we’re all going to die. so: chill the fuck out. if the proprietor of this blog wanted serious comments he would’ve implemented more rigorous commenting system. disqus, perhaps.

        DT will appreciate thoughts and prayers and support and sympathy from his actual real friends and family, not some lonely faggots on the internet who want to read a funny story in between xhamster beat off sessions and then leave a non sequitur for the sake of feeling less lonely.

        this is the last place we go to exchange nonsense and let go of all seriousness. if i hurt your feelings with my faux-advertorial then i do sincerely apologize and extend my hand out as a gesture of fraternal grace. jesus now you’ve got me sounding all serious. you wet little jew-twat.

        gonna go take some kratom.

        still 5% off with promo code: “fucknuts”

        inquire within.

      • Graybusch December 6, 2015 at 5:51 pm #

        Ha! I didn’t think you’d be back Kratom and yes my butt was in severe pain with your Kratom comment. I mean you should have at least started with it sucks to hear about your dad before jumping into your pitch.

        And no I don’t need Kratom but thanks for thinking of me (a year or two ago I looked into it not my bag you could say) but you should go take some more Kratom with all that name calling I mean no need to call all of DT’s readers lonely faggots that just seems unlike the Kratom philosophy
        But I will say Wet little jew twat rolls off the tongue pretty nicely so I’ll give you that…

        Oh And I accept your apology

    • Dick Fuckcock December 6, 2015 at 1:51 pm #

      the whole “kratom” arc: I expected nothing less.
      You do what you do. Excelsior, good sir.

    • Rabbi Mortak December 6, 2015 at 2:53 pm #

      Even in Grief,
      the boy gives us Gold.

      • Father O'Hara aka Adolf Hitler's Skid Marks On His Underpants December 8, 2015 at 7:29 pm #

        Gas the kikes!!!!!

  3. seriouslypleasedropit December 4, 2015 at 5:54 pm #

    ;

    God, give him a break.

  4. oscarchambers December 4, 2015 at 7:25 pm #

    I am sorry to hear about your father. I usually try to be funny , but I am truly sorry. Be strong.

    • Adolf Hilary Stalin December 4, 2015 at 11:20 pm #

      Gay cunt.

  5. dees ricks December 4, 2015 at 7:30 pm #

    Fag,

    • oscarchambers December 4, 2015 at 8:13 pm #

      Homosexual

      • oscarchambers December 4, 2015 at 8:42 pm #

        Sexual homo

  6. Seven dials December 5, 2015 at 12:44 am #

    “Well why not write a book about James Deen. Sell 100,000 copies. Like the man said: if you have to ask, you’ll never know.”

    Word.

    Sorry to hear about your father.

  7. Father O'Hara aka Adolf Hitler's Skid Marks On His Underpants December 5, 2015 at 2:17 am #

    Must not…no ain’t goin there..write somethin nice like the others…oh hell nobody cares anyway..ok your dad gave me $10 to blow him! Ha ha no wait the $10 was for him to blow ME,he paid to blow me,get IT? He’s a FAG, see? Ha ha ha ha

  8. Anal Trauma December 5, 2015 at 6:43 am #

    Getting there. Closer to Hunter Thompson with this type of piece, which is where I think you really belong – not Bukowski.

  9. Anal Trauma December 5, 2015 at 6:59 am #

    For those who hate my posts hope this copies OK. Two litres of red wine and a packet of Dunhills later. To you DT.

    • Lee Holloway December 5, 2015 at 8:59 pm #

      This video is blocked in my country. Goddammit Anal Trauma, are you Canadian?

      • Anal Trauma December 6, 2015 at 12:24 am #

        Australian.

      • Lee Holloway December 6, 2015 at 12:25 am #

        Much more acceptable.

      • Anal Trauma December 7, 2015 at 5:05 am #

        Did you find some sort of access to it? It’s a great track.

      • Lee Holloway December 7, 2015 at 9:04 am #

        yah, it’s a good song. i like his voice. kind of a wilco vibe on that one.

  10. olivermaerk December 5, 2015 at 10:45 am #

    http://freedompowerandwealth.com

    That is the right attitude. Do the things on your turn and let the others believe what they want to believe – that’s what they are doing anyway.

  11. Faketits Away Team December 6, 2015 at 7:35 am #

    This site’s run by the Pied Piper of Brokedick
    so there’s gonna be a certain level of noise here, but Christ.
    Venting is venting but some of you shoulda been Abortions.

    Kratooey (if you’re Real I mean):
    [telepathic message Frequency 108 khz}

    Lee:
    I got a funny image, like a 1980s commercial,
    of your kid spelling a dirty word out of Alpha-Bits™ & you are all,
    “No honey, add a “C” there.”
    TV Announcer goes,
    “A sweet way to introduce silent letters.”

    To all those still not in the 700 Club:
    It’s still three (3) bucks you coupon clippers.
    That works out to a Two Dollar Bill & a Single.
    Lotsa those around here. Yes.

    Regards,
    F.A.T.

    • Lee Holloway December 6, 2015 at 10:47 am #

      Pied Piper of Brokedick hahaha

      • Faketits Away Team December 6, 2015 at 11:45 am #

        Kratooey:
        I hope you’re really blowin off steam here
        & haven’t dipped into the Dick Lox or etc.

        Also, Would the Advisory Board
        consider writing my “eulogy” for me?
        They could figure out (depending on their level of Access)
        all the posts I made under different names
        and Kyser Soze it together.

        Also Also, What is your ISBN

        Regards,
        F.A.T.

  12. Rabbi Mortak December 6, 2015 at 1:37 pm #

    Hold on, the deal went from 5% then 20%
    And now it’s 5% again? Oy vey. You potzer.

  13. C17 EXP December 6, 2015 at 6:10 pm #

    Really, kids. Let’s take this site for what it is:
    Words on a screen.
    Don’t get too wrapped up in em.

    Blood simple to realize that from time to time,
    our Host juuust might troll his own trolls
    under a different label. Wouldn’t you.

    Comment sections are basically
    society’s Bathroom Wall,
    so what’s an extra scrawl or two
    if it helps someone get through their shit.

    • Andres Segovia December 6, 2015 at 11:40 pm #

      Do you mean that DT could be Anal Trauma or Atlanta Man?

      • Lee Holloway December 6, 2015 at 11:58 pm #

        That would be quite a twist.

      • Anal Trauma December 7, 2015 at 6:03 am #

        DT is not me. The writing styles are different.

    • K.A.B. December 6, 2015 at 11:42 pm #

      Thanks fat but I’m not DT. I’m not even Kratom.

      DT is an honorable artiste, so he doesn’t contaminate the commentariat.

      But if I were taking the GMAT soon I might be practicing my writing.

      And if I were to eulogize you I wouldn’t say shit, I’d smoke 99 grams of XL Baby-Kray in a Chevy Nova with the windows up and tape over the vents, and see if I made it to the bridge. There’s your fuckin words on a screen.

      • Harrison Ford's Buttocks AKA Crap Pumper December 7, 2015 at 12:13 am #

        Is that you Atlanta Man?

      • C. Thomas Howell Inside Colin Powell December 9, 2015 at 10:24 am #

        Might be the guy from the chateau
        Oh how the plot thickens. Riddle of friggin steel.

  14. Anal Trauma December 7, 2015 at 5:08 am #

    For those who like Elvis, AC/DC and hot tattooed women.

  15. bonernipple December 7, 2015 at 5:42 am #

    I am sorry for my haiku in which I called you a fag. It was uncalled for. I care for you a great deal.

  16. Anal Trauma December 7, 2015 at 6:07 am #

    For all my haters.
    And yet – for all those Long Forgotten Midnight Dancers – I remember them well.

    • AT Tolerator December 7, 2015 at 9:41 am #

      Ehh.
      Diabetic singer with a Snapple flavor
      vs.
      Dinklage with a floor tom. You decide.

  17. ben December 8, 2015 at 10:23 pm #

    the writer known as delicious tacos likes getting more comments.

    even if 90% of them are retarded. makes the site look more popular. social media web traffic seo signals and what not.

    freedom of speech etc.

    just never insult islam. leave those poor muslims out of this digital den of heathens. not all muslims are like that, guys. they are super peaceful.

    • Jewlogy December 9, 2015 at 12:54 am #

      Hiya Ben. Your writings are getting there.
      Coming from a guy whose creative energy vanished after helping 867587346 fucktards write EPR bullets years ago,
      and has (maybe) since been slowly crumbling from PTSD,
      that may not mean shit. But there it is.

      Fr. O’Hara:
      Oh, you… Dark and sexy.
      Like the black dudes I used to bang in the shitter.
      It was an easy approach; I’d just walk into The Manhole and point. The worrrst, though, were the ones from craigs list. Weird fetishes.
      One guy (in a doorman building no less !!)
      wanted a master / slave thing.
      Not really my cup of coffee, but I was there for the cream.
      I dressed like (Colon)el Sanders, he like Kunta Kinte.
      As I stirred his smooth ebony Nubian ‘tocks like a gallon of Sherwin-Williams™ I would sing a field song:

      Hey black boy, yo’ butt is mine
      Im gon’ beet cho’ black behin’
      Outta mah way ah say ah say,
      Outta mah way ah say

      Repeat chorus until a pleasureless rubbery spasm
      filled his manburger with my watery joyjuice

      Yeah, it was an easy $300, but I hated myself. Still do.

      K.A.B. / Kratom:
      I’m glad someone blew out the candles on the ePity party.
      Plus, Nova’s a bad fuckin ride. I am honored.

  18. killtoparty December 9, 2015 at 5:51 pm #

    I’m sorry to hear about your father.

    As I get older, I seem to think more about my own parents death every day. Something like a minor obsession. They aren’t particularly sick, thank God, but it’s becoming increasingly apparent that I haven’t done shit with my life. What would I have without them? I don’t have a family or a wife, a satisfying career, or even a close group of friends. I don’t have any family outside of them, so the idea of being along to that degree is terrifying. So, I think about it… will it be a phone call or a text? Will it be sudden, or something drawn out? And, what happens after?

    I act like such a smart-ass motherfucker. A real prick. I think I’m superior to all the intellectual plebeians who spend their time mimicking Progressive ideology on Facebook, looking for digital high-fives. I think about the bullshit lives they have, the bullshit relationships they maintain; he must know he’s a beta somewhere deep down, right? With the amount of shit he eats from her on a daily basis, he must. He must know he’s pandering for validation. She must know she’s vapid. I’m superior, because I see these things. I’m superior because I’m a step ahead; I think rationally; I understand the rigid rules of proper logic and argumentation. I’m superior because my opinions are correct. You’d call me a “woman hater,” but we both know the truth.

    Yet, I don’t know to handle this. I don’t know how people do it. Every person who has lived through the death of their parents and maintained sanity and productivity is stronger than me. I’m a weak piece of dog shit, and this is my Kryptonite.

    I’m sorry this is happening to you.

    Even now, as I write this, between sentences, I’m toggling between this window and a window full of cam girls, waiting for my pick for the evening to get back from a “private show” where she’s getting paid thirty cents on the dollar to masturbate for an Arab man who’s demanding she pees, or a small-penis guy looking for abuse.

    She gets back, and I’ll have my wank. Life is stupid.

    • oscarchambers December 9, 2015 at 10:00 pm #

      You are getting in stride, even in this comment section. I have a good feeling about you KTP, in two to three years you will look back at your current stuff and be able to see how much you improved. Just keep telling the truth, even if it’s in jest. I like your blog, but you already know that. Keep writing.

  19. Xam February 26, 2016 at 6:36 pm #

    Why don’t you faggs go and use this shit as a coffeehaus and chat it up like the bitches that you are and desire to be ?

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Why Don’t You Write About James Deen | Manosphere.com - December 4, 2015

    […] Why Don’t You Write About James Deen […]

  2. The Word From The Dark Side, December 12th 2015 | SovietMen - December 12, 2015

    […] Lately in Delicious Tacos: Where the Heart Is and Why Don’t You Write About James Deen. […]

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