Morning Diary: God/ Pony Fucking/ Jungle Slave Wife/ Gay Teen Meth Whore

28 Feb
spotted pony rearing

image stolen from photo-equine.com

I’m not maintaining conscious contact with my higher power these days. I get it for a minute. In the morning when I go look at trees and grass. Hear the birds. In nature I remember: I’m a tiny mote in God’s creation. No more significant than an insect. But no less perfect.

Can’t seem to keep this in my head, out in the world. Since my dad died and I turned 40 (and also before, forever) I’m obsessed with dying childless. Being broke. Being a bad writer. Inadequate. I think I’m running the show. Blowing it harder than I could have ever imagined.

Constantly agitated. AA sponsor will tell me the solution is: more prayer. More talking to newcomers. More General Service Area Assembly Meetings, Area Committee Meetings, District Committee Meetings– have some pussy show up to just one of these fucking things just once, or back up a truck with a bomb in it.

You need to keep adding new shit. You build a tolerance to sobriety. To prayer. God, I offer myself to thee… please remove my character defects… Lord, make me a channel of thy peace… all meaningless now.

Meditation still works. Don’t know what I’m communicating with. Does God exist. Who cares. The universe as this vast incomprehensible thing is enough. I’m a bacterium with a simple job. Experience the world with my senses. Eat sleep fuck shit die. Try to help other living creatures.

It comes and goes. It’s better than it was. Used to believe that either a) God did not exist; anyone who believed was an idiot, or b) God existed and created the world solely to torture me. Now the prayers mean nothing, except one of the character defects will catch. I’ll think of it later in the day and not fuck up. Look up mumbling Lord make me a channel of thy peace and see trees tossing in the wind. Remember something. Everything is OK and be good to people. Just do your best. Doesn’t have to be better than anyone else.

**********

Too tempting to look at stupid shit on the internet. You’ve already blown it. Go ahead and look. Twitter. That one horse porn video. Brazilian chick with a cute ass in black Speedo bikini bottoms. Farewell to Ponny, it’s called. You could watch Ingmar Bergman films for free online probably but Farewell to Ponny, infinitely more compelling. You still haven’t found the one. Where the horse gives a girl a visible vaginal creampie. You want to see horsecock pulsating and its 18 gallon load hosed within a human twat, but just barely so you can see the force of the liquid spewing out. You need to believe a centaur could be created.

There’s no perfect horse porn. Yet Farewell to Ponny has an emotional throughline. Girl loves her pony. They must part. She’s young, cute– most of the women in horse porn, over 30. Useless.

**********

Online dating is dead. I’ll have to go talk to people. Jesus Christ, I’d rather lay my summer ball sac over a severe tire damage strip and have a parade of tractors drive over it. There are no women anywhere. What ones there are– they’d rather lay their cuntflaps over the severe tire damage strip than speak to me. Look at me.

Get out there and sell yourself. Fuck you, I’m not doing that. I’m leaving. To the jungle, where people are so poor they have to pretend to like me. Where the natives beat their women. Knock them up at fifteen and leave. They grow up in cinder block huts drinking sewer water so my four walls and TV and Brita pitcher: wealth of the pharaohs. Yes I’m exploiting people. But I’m Ward god damn Cleaver after the trike driver who blasts in her and then runs away to another island when he hears about the blessed event.

I’m sick of this shit requiring effort. I already have a job. It should just be part of nature. The world should give you pussy. I need a homeless woman whose options are me or fuck a pony. Our spoiled rotten women, with their equality and voting and their birth control and not getting hit. Fuck all that. I mean, I support it politically. But there will be no next generation because no one wants to wash the fucking dishes. I get it. I don’t either.

**********

Supposed to help my friend rescue her homeless teen son today. He lives in a car with two other underage gays and smokes meth. What the fuck will I tell him. Hey man– move back home and wash dishes and go to school. Read boring shit, do boring math, apply to a boring college. Get a boring job so you can boost a stock some rich douche will inherit and pump taxes into drones that set children on fire. Fuck that. Stay in the car. Smoke your meth. Fuck for money. Save a seat for me. I can’t take this fucking shit anymore.

28 Responses to “Morning Diary: God/ Pony Fucking/ Jungle Slave Wife/ Gay Teen Meth Whore”

  1. Guest February 28, 2016 at 1:44 pm #

    There’s no video called Farewell to Ponny. You just made that title up didn’t you.

    • some dude March 2, 2016 at 9:27 pm #

      read the article entitled “The irrationality of Alcoholics Anonymous” in the march issue of the Atlantic Monthly. You are wasting your time at AA meetings dude.

      • CK March 3, 2016 at 8:22 pm #

        Yeah I was going to link that, AA is the 38th out of 40 most effective addiction treatment or something.

        Now that DT is 40, the next time fired he can threaten to sue for age discrimination.

  2. caprizchka February 28, 2016 at 3:04 pm #

    Would the pony tell me that I’m a good girl and give me a ride home? Because I’d gladly muck out a stable for that. Do the dishes and make sandwiches? Way easier. Sorry. I’m just messing with you. You’re too young for me. It sucks to figure out all the feminism bullshit after I’ve already passed my prime. Send your next prospective girlfriend to my blog. I’ll disabuse her of the joys of empowerment. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. It’s a trap.

    • Atlanta Man February 28, 2016 at 5:52 pm #

      I like your blog.

  3. Atlanta Man February 28, 2016 at 5:53 pm #

    You are having an existential crisis, this is normal. Have sex with someone new, it will help.

    • Lee Holloway February 28, 2016 at 6:20 pm #

      dropping wisdom

    • Ben March 2, 2016 at 9:32 am #

      I agree with Atlanta Man.

  4. Nikolai Vladivostok February 28, 2016 at 7:05 pm #

    Getting everything you want wouldn’t make you happy.
    If you had a bunch of hot girls utterly dependent on you, their dependence would start to grate on you and you’d want them to like you for some other reason. No matter how young or hot they were, you’d start to wish they were younger and hotter. No matter how many there were, you’d want more.
    And if you ever found that perfect horse porn you’d find something wrong with it, too. Horse swishes its tail at the wrong moment, obscuring the view; or, the cum is an odd color.
    Buddha wrote about this. Not about horse porn specifically, as far as I know, but about how satisfying material wants only leads to further desire.
    Maybe you could convert to Buddhism. They don’t have a God, you could keep up the meditation and you’d have an excuse to meet Asian girls. And Buddhists still believe a load of other horse shit which I think is what you need at the moment to keep you grounded.

    • Lee Holloway February 28, 2016 at 7:18 pm #

      you are rapidly becoming one of my favorites around here

  5. Cody February 28, 2016 at 8:40 pm #

    I don’t know how much longer I can do the 9-5 thing. The only thing that could make it tolerable is having a cute, loving jailbait (or even early 20’s pseudo-jaibait) waiting at home for me everyday. But I can’t even have that, so what’s the point?

  6. Anonymous February 28, 2016 at 9:00 pm #

    Well, Bud.. It’s been a mutherFucker for you latley. I gotta tell ya, this is AA at its finest. Hot and Cold runnin’ misery. What a gift, sobriety. I prayed for you just now. If it were not for the fact that you, not Vice, not wshh, or even porn, is the reason why I even get on the Internet, If probably say “Get in The Middle” or Easy Does It. But fuck that.
    Embrace it Brother! I need you crisis like a fat kid need cake! I’m vicariously miserable though you, man! God damnit I was legit worried when you didn’t post for awhile, and even told some AA douch about your struggle with the old man, the woman, your old ass balls.. The fact is the impact you have had in me is vast. Very vast.
    Please never stop writing.

    • okssadjinn March 1, 2016 at 8:47 pm #

      Find some Silverlake art chick & make a coffee table book
      Or some kinda graphic novel. 67 pages.

      e.g. Mock bateman poses
      Birds
      Recipes
      Original napkin illustrations
      Short piece of original sheet music

      w/ bits from Hot Naked Kittens pasted on

      • Ben March 2, 2016 at 9:32 am #

        I second this. If there was a way to upvote comments I would upvote your comment.

  7. Guy February 29, 2016 at 4:02 am #

    I went on a cabin trip with my college’s snowboarding club. During the trip I got singled out and called “a piece of shit” for five hours by a group of 20 white college students. No one stood up for me, or defended. I was the one dark-skinned guy on the trip and naturally I was singled out. I am telling you this because I have no family, no friends, absolutely nothing, and I am torn between wanting to help people out and having nothing to do with them because they are vile, nasty, undeserving, and I hate them all.

    • Anonymous February 29, 2016 at 5:23 am #

      Your a fag

      • Guy February 29, 2016 at 12:51 pm #

        Nah, despite being miserable I still fuck a new girl from OKC, POF, Tinder, or Bumble every couple weeks.

  8. emptysubject February 29, 2016 at 5:21 am #

    I’m applying for jobs in Washington D.C. and the despair is suffocating. Work is evil, women are disappointing, and the ghost of a dead God is haunting us all.

  9. shades February 29, 2016 at 5:17 pm #

    on the “I probably suck at writing” tip: Google “imposter’s syndrome”. might help.

  10. Mob Barley March 1, 2016 at 11:15 am #

    Nice blog. Great insights.
    Enlightened Negativity breathes awesome creative energies!

  11. americhandotcom March 2, 2016 at 6:45 pm #

    You’re a cool guy and surely you will get new pussy soon to replace the old pussy that left. Pussy is as pussy does: it comes and goes.

  12. Mitt Romney March 3, 2016 at 1:19 pm #

    Hello.

    • Over the Hill Pt IV: Camping In David March 4, 2016 at 4:40 pm #

      Why HELLO.
      Get your mitts on me, Romney.
      You & that ketchup magnate guy.

  13. your mother March 4, 2016 at 9:10 pm #

    Delicious Tacos this is your mother here. Why do you keep wasting your seed beating off so much to that horse porn young man. Your DNA is going down the drain quite literally. What a shame. And how about you find a nice girl and settle down so I can have some grandchildren goshdarnit! This is very very sad young man I am thoroughly disappointed.

  14. Miko Kors Whores March 10, 2016 at 3:43 pm #

    Dear God, give me the strength not to be a dumb faggot today and the positivity to leave a positive comment on DeliciousTacos. Amen.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Morning Diary: God/ Pony Fucking/ Jungle Slave Wife/ Gay Teen Meth Whore – Manosphere.com - February 28, 2016

    […] Morning Diary: God/ Pony Fucking/ Jungle Slave Wife/ Gay Teen Meth Whore […]

  2. Quiet Word From the Dark Side, 2/26/16 | SovietMen - February 28, 2016

    […] Delicious Tacos: It’s over between us.  Update: charming love story about a pony. […]

  3. Delicioustacos | To our bodies turn we then - February 29, 2016

    […] “In nature I remember: I’m a tiny mote in God’s creation. No more significant than an insect. But…“ […]

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