Quitting Smoking Diary

12 Mar


Don’t quit smoking. Don’t go to work. Don’t save money. Don’t pay taxes, bills. Don’t be kind to women. Get a new name in a new country where you can beat your 13 year old wife and live on 2 dollars a day.

Burn the neighbors. Fingerfuck your grandmother. Forget all that shit but just don’t quit smoking. Go to the store right now. Stop writing on your stupid laptop in the park while the mockingbirds scream and scream trying to get laid. It takes the bitch woman mockingbird all spring to pick one. Men doomed to sit on a high branch and cry. Anyway stop listening. Get in your car. Warm it up. Drive to the Valero gas station. Buy a pack of Camel Filters and a lighter and take that one crackling first drag that you float while your heart makes meth music.

You’re gonna die anyway. Cancer’s genetic. Nothing slows suffering and doom. When one particle exploded to make the universe it was foreordained you’d be sitting on a stump in your synthetic dress shirt typing stupid shit before going to nine hours– NINE FUCKING HOURS of worm work. Can’t talk to people from your high school anymore. They were rich kids so now they’re documentary filmmakers about poor black kids. They’re married and write for the New Yorker and you, Tacos, you’re a secretary because your parents were normal people. Alone and all your brains nothing next to a nice face and a big dick. But then when you’re given things, success is banal. Whereas the scope of my failure is dazzling.

7 Responses to “Quitting Smoking Diary”

  1. Atlanta Man March 12, 2017 at 1:35 pm #

    I still love you. In the most heterosexual way you can love a man you have mever met who writes shit you identify with. All my college friends are doing better than myself as well.

  2. IMGrody March 12, 2017 at 2:15 pm #

    Patches help. Quitting chew was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done but entirely worth it. Stay strong.

  3. Kitten Holiday March 12, 2017 at 3:45 pm #

    Quitters never win.

  4. Anonymous March 12, 2017 at 6:33 pm #

    I am on day 10 it’s getting easier. Hang in there

  5. Anon March 12, 2017 at 8:17 pm #

    Aren’t you making 6 figures now? Save like crazy, learn how to invest, and you could probably retire in the Philippines in 5 years. That’s my plan. See you in the jungle.

    • Anonymous March 15, 2017 at 11:34 pm #

      I call bullshit. No secretary makes 6 figures unless she is fucking the boss.

  6. Dr Caveman March 16, 2017 at 10:13 am #

    Yup that’s what quitting smoking is like.
    Next stage: you’re so strong, you can quit any time you like. Now let’s have a cigarette to celebrate

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