The feeling of being in love with someone who loves you back is literally unattainable. Because the very fact of being in love with someone makes them not love you. Your choices are:
A) Unrequited love
B) Cool apathy that gets you the person you thought you wanted, but because of the apathy necessary to get them, you don’t want them anymore.
That’s it. There is no other option. One party will always have contempt for the other. Your choice is to be the contemptuous or the contemptible. You don’t want either one? Too bad. I don’t want Sudanese kids getting kidnapped and enslaved but them’s the fucking breaks. Whatever you feel, that you think will bring you joy, will only work against you. Until you DIE. From BEES. BEES with AIDS.