Yeah, but fuck Winnie Cooper. Winnie always looked a little alien, or like a Hapsburg or something. Her skull was shaped like a Lego person’s. And she always seemed uptight.
Whereas Becky Slater was just straight up cute and had a certain surliness to her that suggested an inner fire, you know? Or that other chick, the one played by Punky Brewster that Kevin went out on a rowboat with and she took off her sweater revealing freakish giant teenage jugs. Pretty much any of Kevin Arnold’s other love interests, they would have been preferable to Winnie Cooper. That guy got a crazy amount of ass for a malformed dwarf whose head looks like it was padded out with Nerf.
Fuck Winnie Cooper
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delicioustacos 
What about Julie Condra? Fine as fuck
tim i always thought that about winnie cooper too. she was really uptight and kind of bony skinny. i wasn’t that into becky slater but i liked darlene for some reason even though she was manly. i also loved nicole eggert in charles in charge. remember her in that corey haim sex movie? brady and i loved that ridiculous movie. i thought carol seaver was whiney. tina yothers & mallory were likeable. what about vicki from small wonder?
Tim? Brady? Da fuk?
kimberly drummond, samantha micelli, dj tanner, blair warner. omg i’m gonna stop.
Oh gosh. Fred and Ben Savage are so cute. *sigh*
Also, where the French did you go to school?
Winnie and Becky are sisters in real life. How about a Winnie-Becky sandwich?
I’m too young for any of these references (24). although, the part about some guy’s head being padded out with nerf was funny.
Okay, but who was your first boner inducing celebrity? I cannot distinctly remember mine, but it was one of three: Kim Basinger in the first Batman movie, Jessica Rabbit (yeah, I know she’s a cartoon, but I was like 7 years old) or Cyndi Lauper. If I could pick one to bang now it would have to be Cyndi Lauper circa 1985. She was fucking hot, especially with that low-class Queens accent and her perfect alabaster skin, like a porcelain china doll.
I always thought Cyndi Lauper was British and had a cockney accent. Go figure.
Yeah, no, she’s from Ozone Park.