Fuck Winnie Cooper

1 Aug

Yeah, but fuck Winnie Cooper. Winnie always looked a little alien, or like a Hapsburg or something. Her skull was shaped like a Lego person’s. And she always seemed uptight.

Whereas Becky Slater was just straight up cute and had a certain surliness to her that suggested an inner fire, you know? Or that other chick, the one played by Punky Brewster that Kevin went out on a rowboat with and she took off her sweater revealing freakish giant teenage jugs. Pretty much any of Kevin Arnold’s other love interests, they would have been preferable to Winnie Cooper. That guy got a crazy amount of ass for a malformed dwarf whose head looks like it was padded out with Nerf.

11 Responses to “Fuck Winnie Cooper”

  1. alightreading August 1, 2012 at 6:01 pm #

    What about Julie Condra? Fine as fuck

  2. cathy August 1, 2012 at 6:34 pm #

    tim i always thought that about winnie cooper too. she was really uptight and kind of bony skinny. i wasn’t that into becky slater but i liked darlene for some reason even though she was manly. i also loved nicole eggert in charles in charge. remember her in that corey haim sex movie? brady and i loved that ridiculous movie. i thought carol seaver was whiney. tina yothers & mallory were likeable. what about vicki from small wonder?

    • Wtf August 1, 2012 at 9:54 pm #

      Tim? Brady? Da fuk?

  3. cathy August 1, 2012 at 6:40 pm #

    kimberly drummond, samantha micelli, dj tanner, blair warner. omg i’m gonna stop.

  4. sylviasarah August 1, 2012 at 9:13 pm #

    Oh gosh. Fred and Ben Savage are so cute. *sigh*

  5. sylviasarah August 1, 2012 at 9:15 pm #

    Also, where the French did you go to school?

  6. Christy August 1, 2012 at 11:02 pm #

    Winnie and Becky are sisters in real life. How about a Winnie-Becky sandwich?

  7. eric August 2, 2012 at 7:52 am #

    I’m too young for any of these references (24). although, the part about some guy’s head being padded out with nerf was funny.

  8. pffffffftttsssssssiimmbllllllddddddnnnnnnnnn August 2, 2012 at 5:36 pm #

    Okay, but who was your first boner inducing celebrity? I cannot distinctly remember mine, but it was one of three: Kim Basinger in the first Batman movie, Jessica Rabbit (yeah, I know she’s a cartoon, but I was like 7 years old) or Cyndi Lauper. If I could pick one to bang now it would have to be Cyndi Lauper circa 1985. She was fucking hot, especially with that low-class Queens accent and her perfect alabaster skin, like a porcelain china doll.

    • Phuk Yoo August 4, 2012 at 2:58 pm #

      I always thought Cyndi Lauper was British and had a cockney accent. Go figure.

      • pffffffftttsssssssiimmbllllllddddddnnnnnnnnn August 6, 2012 at 5:02 am #

        Yeah, no, she’s from Ozone Park.

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