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The Last Hangover

12 Feb
image stolen from www.ep.tc

image stolen from http://www.ep.tc

I should have gone out with a five gram coke binge. Topped it off with some nasty skid row black tar. But this will have to do.

I’ve been sitting inside all day hung over. Reading stupid shit on the internet and listening to Opie and Anthony. Masturbating to small penis humiliation videos. I have work to do, important work. Big real estate project and a bunch of writing stuff. I need the money. I am too hung over. Continue reading

Protected: My Name is Delicious Tacos, and I’m an Alcoholic

9 Feb

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Protected: Weekend Journal: The Heart Touching Magic of Cocaine Hydrochloride

1 Feb

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Tomorrow is Another Day

15 Nov
image stolen from vosizneias.com

image stolen from vosizneias.com

(This is a selection from my book Hot Naked Tits, which you can buy here.)

Yesterday was gonna be the day I stopped drinking. But I got stuck in traffic. Tanker truck caught on fire on the 60 freeway. It was carrying liquid hydrogen. Hindenburg. All lanes closed in both directions.

I don’t take the 60 freeway, but everyone who does jumped on my freeway of choice, the 10 East. It was my day to stop drinking. For the first hour I took it. Stuck with the plan. But I’d been driving all day. It got dark on the road. The radio just kept telling me about the horrible traffic conditions I was in, every channel. Defeatist messages. Folks, it’s gonna be bad out there for a while. As we’ve been reporting the 60 is closed. Of course you have your alternate routes, the 10 and the 210. But those are stacked up now too from downtown past Azusa. There’s a ripple effect going on here folks. The 605 and 710 are a sea of red. The 101 is stop and go through downtown past Hollywood. And the 5 is on fire, the commuters have begun torching their cars and eating passengers’ flesh. Trees blackened. No life left in the hills except one sinister looking cactus. Starved crows circling. If you’re an alcoholic, you’re gonna want to drink extra liquor tonight to power through the sensations you’re gonna be feeling for the next several hours. I am speaking directly to you, Delicious Tacos, the announcer said. You are an idiot for wanting to stop drinking. Why would you torture yourself further. Think of that first drink. The one that makes this all go away. Continue reading

Protected: Hangover Diary: Rocktober

30 Oct

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Protected: Weekend Journal: Can’t Live With ‘Em, Can’t Live Without ‘Em

7 Jul

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Protected: Hangover Diary

25 Jun

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