Finally, Some Good News (Part 1)

25 Nov
pomeranian shaved

image stolen from

He was on Tinder. What do you do, she asked.

He was a secretary. His company provided data driven solutions to optimize cross platform branded content. He might have done something else but he’d spent 20 years drunk. The want ad said room for growth.

He built Powerpoints. When a client was on the phone he hit spacebar. Today, a Webex with Wentworth. The media planning agency. They represented the the Clear and Clean Skin Care division of the Nonmedicated Facial Cleansers and Body Washes/ Poufs division of the Consumer Packaged Goods division of Johnson and Johnson. Wentworth was a subsidiary of UAG, which was a subsidiary of Group J, which was a subsidiary of PWW Group. PWW was a holding company based in Paris. Chartered in Ireland for tax purposes. PWW bought advertising time from television stations en masse. Sold it on arbitrage markets it created. The purpose of UAG and thus Wentworth was to help create demand for advertising time. PWW could then buy low and sell high. This was illegal in America. All advertising agencies were therefore subsidiaries of 3 conglomerates out of Europe. Continue reading

Reader Mailbag: Have You Had Your Prostate Milked During Orgasm

21 Nov

res detail

No. I’ve had my prostate milked by a urologist to diagnose infection. Don’t want girls in my ass. And you don’t see many girls with such low self esteem that they’ll put in the effort. Or any.

Did have a date last week who licked my armpits. Tongued down my taint like a giraffe reaching for a high branch. She mentioned ass eating. I wondered if I ought to present. You don’t get it often. Maybe you should catch a falling star. Continue reading

Reader Mailbag: Do You Have a High Sex Drive

19 Nov

“High sex drive” is a woman’s term. Every man is like me. I just can’t lie about it. Every man fucks as much as he can. Jerks off as much as he can. Every male teacher fucks his students whenever possible. If not, he’s ugly. His dick like a chewed up hunk of bologna you barely rescued from the dog, from beating off about sweet tight wet underage pussy 5,000 times a day. Every man on a farm has fucked a mule at least 10,000 times.

Every renowned man in history fucked hot young teens whenever possible. Gandhi slept with 14 year olds. Said it was to test virtue by not touching them. He was touching them. Martin Luther King shredded more ass than a mule tannery. We’re told: these were great men with a flaw. Lechery was a side effect of their fame.

No. Their accomplishments were a side effect of chasing teen pussy. To get where he could rawdog underage girls, Gandhi had to become the Mahatma.

The only exception: Hitler. Hitler got 0 ass.

Listen to Me on This Sex Chick’s Podcast

16 Nov


I talk about underage pussy and birds. She did a great job cutting it together:

Diary: Gender Studies

15 Nov
image stolen from

image stolen from

Weekend. What do I have lined up. AA pancake breakfast. Talk to my parents. Poor mother had a bad dream about me. Now I have to call her. Love my parents. But if talking to someone doesn’t get me pussy I’d rather play Xbox.

Clean the house. Everything is clean the house. Go to the doctor wash the dishes hang with my parents. Drive homeless alcoholics to the fucking pancake breakfast. Wash the dishes there. This pain in my gut is some cancerous organ. Tree fungus all over my innards. I’ll die in agony. This weekend, my last shot before my dick falls off. Spent it helping the fucking hobos. They all have 6 kids they don’t have to pay for and get more ass than me.

I should go to that whorehouse in Chinatown. Pay a hooker to touch me so I don’t go crazy. But it’ll be some 50 year old. What are the odds the Chinese rub and tug by the Sunset/ Beaudry Jack in the Box has a fresh faced junior idol teen. What are the odds she’ll lovingly stroke my ass crack with her hair. Why fuck a whore in America. In the Philippines they kiss you. Fuck you raw. Here it’s a medical procedure. Continue reading

Dear Angela

11 Nov

coot ripple


I wrote another thing about you. The point of it was I wouldn’t be jealous anymore. Jealous of your stupid friend who comes in my comments, hooting about how much he tears up your ass. You fuck men for cash and prizes. Some of them are famous. Inventors. Spies. I don’t care about any of them. But this guy got to me. He has what I want with you. Come over a few nights a week and party. I can’t party anymore. Too old. Have to get up early. Write. Then I can’t write. I feel like less than a man. Fucking another girl didn’t take it away. Maybe liking another girl would. I want to like a girl like I like you. Continue reading

Morning Diary: Standard Time

10 Nov

How to describe this feeling. Hollow. Normally I’d despair about the work day. About girls. Sucks but at least it’s a feeling. Today: don’t care. I’ll work demeaning jobs forever. Don’t care. Never have a relationship. Don’t care. No wife, no kids: good. To create another being that could feel this way: worse than Hitler. My dick would make 80 years of pain. Cauterizing my nuts off in a campfire would be a mercy to the world. Continue reading


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