Diary: Into the Crypt

10 Dec

flames

Have to go into the fucking office. Weekend ruined. Won’t write the next chapter of Finally, Some Good News. Dreams in flame. Death, run over by a car, shattered pelvis, squirrels gnaw my scrotum, etc.

What’s more I wasted all morning reading /biz. Watching graphs fluctuate on Coinbase with my puny investment in imaginary money you can’t withdraw. It’s a Chinese finger trap. When you pay in, the system sucks it up eagerly. When you transfer out– a long dark lacuna while the price of what you want whips around wildly. Never in your favor. When your coin is lowest and theirs highest, it goes through. Plus a fee. Don’t you see, cryptocurrency eliminates the middleman. Continue reading →

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The Fisherman’s Daughter

10 Dec

(Previously)

In Puerto Princesa the guard at the resort gate had an M16 with the blacking worn off. A kind smile. He made 50 cents an hour and they posted him by the road. When Abu Sayyaf took you they approached from the beach. They drove speedboats up the coast from the south; he’d read about it. If they came the guard would have to hear the disturbance 200 yards away. Run to the beach, fight off five men with AK-47s by himself. 50 cents an hour. That’s assuming the boats weren’t already halfway back to Balabac where they kept the video equipment dry for the beheading. The hotel came at a significant discount but the desk girl still charged him for an upgrade. We need it sir, she said. No more Westerners now because of the terrorist. She had studied hospitality. Hoped to work in California. You’d be like a movie star there, he said. The men will go crazy for you. Continue reading →

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Festival of Savings

19 Nov

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Previously

He dreamed he was walking. Looked down and his hands were holding papers. Folders of mistakes he’d made at work. It was the day of his annual review. In one or more areas he had not been Very Satisfactory. He woke up thinking he was late. Then remembered. There had been a nuclear holocaust.

Thank God, he thought. Continue reading →

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Aswang

4 Nov

garfield cropped 2

Previously

Don’t come inside, said Maricar. She was 4′ 11”, 19, looked 14. Waray-Waray. The father a coconut farmer on Samar. There are beach there but no tourist, she explained. He’d never heard of it but decided to move there.

They were in the best hotel in Angeles. You could tell because there were so many Arabs. In the elevators they’d quietly appraise your girls and smile. One named Waleed he’d seen three times, earned enough trust to hear that your George W. Bush was a criminal. He worked for the Jews. Continue reading →

Finally, Some Good News

29 Oct

My new novel Finally, Some Good News is live on Amazon. You can read the first seven chapters below.

If you buy paperback you get Kindle copy free (buy paperback, navigate to Kindle version, price will show as “FREE”):

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1790356229

Sample chapters:

  1. What Do You Do
  2. Nest Egg
  3. Second Date
  4. No Exit
  5. The Zombie Zone
  6. Angel of the Morning
  7. Power Achiever

Finally, Some Good News (Part 6)

22 Oct

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Previously:

What Do You Do

Nest Egg

Second Date

No Exit

The Zombie Zone

Angel of the Morning

Belinda

Power Achiever

I Just Keep Losing

**********

The Sherman Oaks Outdoorsman

The gun shop door was open but half the ceiling had collapsed. The Sherman Oaks Outdoorsman. Here too hissing sprinklers, shrieking alarms. He had to press his fingertip into his left ear and still the back of his head rang with the sound of cicadas. Shelves fallen into each other. Tile floor covered with flashlights and Rambo knives, spreadeagled Guns & Ammo magazines. Soldier of Fortune open to honeypot ads in the back for hit men, all sopping wet. Marcy still catatonic in the ’79 Mercedes outside, in the handicapped space. He’d wrapped her in his picnic blanket. Strapped her in like a baby. Eased the seat all the way back so her head wouldn’t stick up. He’d thought about taking another car, a 4-wheel drive. But the hallway floor tilted in and the first burned corpse he checked for keys groaned when he tried its pockets. Continue reading →

I Just Keep Losing

14 Oct

cnn purple gun girl

Previously:

What Do You Do

Nest Egg

Second Date

No Exit

The Zombie Zone

Angel of the Morning

Power Achiever

**********

We can fix the stove, said the landlady.

OK Gre-

AT YOUR COST

How are you going to even say that

YOU told me that YOU broke it cleaning the-

That’s not what I said Maureen

Listen: to fix that stove I have to go in there, get the make and model number, call a repairman, wait for him, pay him for an estimate, wait for him to get the parts… Continue reading →

Finally, Some Good News (Part 5)

30 Sep

ispot.tv activia

Previously

**********

Power Achiever

The Monday before Halloween there were vegetables in the break room. Broccoli and baby carrots. Continue reading →

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Author’s Note

10 Sep

Typing on my flattened out keyboard. Broke the struts punching it. Or the strut, singular. The one that was left. I did this because Microsoft Word was “justifying” margins on the last line of a piece in my putative next book. Broke the other strut from some formatting fuckup in my last book. You start with Createspace’s Microsoft Word 5.5 by 8.5 template. Cut/ paste from your web site. Whatever bits of Createspace’s aesthetic vision you disagree with, edit once. Define your font and layout as a style. Everything you paste should be in that style. Easy. Continue reading →

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Moderation

27 Aug

Have to write something family friendly so I don’t miss a month in archives. Point of pride. Done this over five years and if you look on the bottom right you’ll see not a month missed. In the beginning not a day missed. I’m a god damn institution. Continue reading →

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