Tag Archives: girls who won’t fuck me

Diary: I Need to Get Laid

2 Mar

I could have fucked her.  If I had played my cards right.  If I had gone for the makeout earlier.  I got her back to my house.  I got her shirt off, anyway, although she kept buttoning her pants back up.  But when I was kind of kissing around her hipbones, she was getting really hot.  So, I should have played it better.  I should have gotten those pants off.  I could have done it.  I could have gotten her hot enough to get her pants off, and then I would have fucked her.  And I would be just as hung over, just as sleep-deprived, just as tired, but I would have gotten laid.

Because now I need to get laid.  Getting laid by a new woman is like methadone and my maintenance dose is running out.  Last new girl I fucked was the end of January.  So that’s how long it lasts.  About a month.  About a month between fucking a new chick and feeling again like I’m completely undesirable. Continue reading →

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Molly

21 Feb

She got on fucking birth control for him. Fucking right away. And she told me it was— she told me she had to go to the doctor and it was some medical condition but that’s fucking bullshit. She did it for him. She did it for him and she wouldn’t do it for me. Fucking twat. She’s going to get fat. She’s going to be fat with small tits and she has horrible teeth. Her incisors splay out on top of her— what the fuck, her other incisors, Jesus— this is hard, I’m not a fucking dentist. Her two very front teeth splay out on top of her two second-from-frontmost teeth, they kind of—they collapse toward each other in the middle. It’s like an old paperback book open in the middle. And they’re yellow. She’s really white and her teeth are really yellow and she gets zits sometimes and she drags her teeth when she blows you and I don’t understand why this dude is going out with her. And she doesn’t fucking drink and is extremely doctrinaire about Alcoholics Anonymous and is constantly going to meetings and then has to come home and be with her hideous, annoying pets and her house smells like cat shit. I have one cat, and he’s quiet, attractive and sleek. And he shits outside. If your pets are ugly I feel sorry for you. But then, maybe this new guy is my cat and I’m her cat, in terms of attractiveness.

She’s fat and stupid and I hate her but she has such pretty eyes. And a great sense of style. And she’s just generally fun to be around. And if her being fat bothered me I guess I wouldn’t be boning a bunch of other much fatter chicks.

Anyway, she got on birth control for him. Because she loves him and she didn’t love me. She probably sleeps with him all the time; she would never sleep over here. Fucking twat. Die, die, die, you horrible stupid twat. Also, get back together with me.

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Diary: An Actress

16 Feb

I need to jack off, to that chick (REDACTED), whatever the fuck her name was.  She showed up to dinner with (REDACTED)’s parents wearing dark gray yoga pants and when her legs hit the right angle you could see the outline of her vagina.

She is hot.  Skinny, in good shape, perfect bone structure hot.  In her youtube videos she looks merely “quirky hot,” like, her face looks a little fuller and her teeth look like a mouth full of jagged chiclets and she just, you know, looks like the kind of chick you would see across a room and think “that chick is kind of hot.  Maybe I have a chance.”

Then in person it is clear she is the kind of chick with whom you have no chance.  She has that sleek, lithe build like a lemur, or one of those whippet-looking marsupials that just went extinct– the thyalacine.  A thyalacine I want to fuck.

Continue reading →

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