Tag Archives: porn

Protected: Virgil Wanted to Burn The Aeneid

21 Aug

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Protected: Getting Fired Diary: To Whoever Has to Monitor My Internet Activity

18 Jan

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More on Porn

18 Mar

It’s funny that the kind of porn I want to watch– young, attractive people who appear to actually like each other having sex in non-gymnastic positions until he ejaculates in her– it’s funny that this is a fetish.  Specifically, if you don’t want to see a guy blow a fire-hydrant like load on a chicks face while she pretends to lick it up from around her mouth, you must watch “creampie” porn, which started out as just, you know, regular fucking except the guy blows his load inside her, and has devolved now into a whole subgenre where the girl lets the jizz dribble out of her gaping ass into a martini glass which is on top of a plexiglass coffee table so you can shoot from below, and then drinks out of the glass.  Or it’s one of those fake “amateur” porns that reintroduces theatrical acting into the porn, a scenario where the girl repeatedly says “don’t cum inside me don’t cum inside me” and then he cums inside her, albeit holding his dick so only the very tip is in her to insure the jizz remains fully visible as the camera cuts to it oozing out before panning up to the girl’s face where she is cartoonishly slanting her eyebrows into an “angry” expression while berating him.  You can’t just have a couple fucking and then he starts going a little faster, then suddenly grabs her real hard and pushes into her while holding her in a deathgrip like a koala bear on a eucalyptus and makes a dopey face likes he’s taking a shit and then relaxes.  Which is all I want to do in life, you know, just cum in a chick and then relax.  But you can’t see that in porn.  Continue reading

L.A. to Require Condoms in Porn

19 Jan

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2012/01/la-approves-condom-rule.html

The TL,DR is that the AIDS Healthcare Foundation and other worrywart types have been trying to get condoms mandated in porn for years.  After various failed tactics, they went for a city council ordinance, which covers the San Fernando Valley.  The epicenter of American porn production.  The idea is that no politician anywhere, ever, can vote for being slack on any kind of fucking-related business without having their career incinerated so except for the one brave soul who voted nay, they all had to go along with it.

And now there are going to be surprise inspections where regulators show up to porn sets and look at the dick going in the vagina, or butthole, and make sure there’s a condom on it.  Which for me, only cements my decision to never watch porn made domestically by a major studio again, ever.

Continue reading