For people who see all these health updates and are worried, I mean- yes, it is bad, obviously.
But you should know that Nikol is still Nikol. When you are around her, she still acts like the Nikol you know. Even with the 104 fever and softball sized subcutaneous lumps of pure blood poison and needle marks and hair and eyebrow loss and etc., when you are talking to her, it’s still, you know– she is still the same funny and vulgar person. You don’t get the impression that you are dealing with some sort of late night infomercial shit like this is Pedro and he can’t afford shoes so he can’t walk to school because worms will go into the soles of his feet and into his brain and even if he had shoes there is no school to go to anyway and if there were it would be a catch 22 because the brain you were hoping to educate would have been eaten by the worms, but all this could change for the price of a cup of coffee. Nikol is not doing a half assed job of swiping flies away from her eyeballs and stroking a gas-bloated stomach while a lone vulture looks on. She feels bad a lot but is still Nikol and can complain about the whole thing humorously.
Or maybe that’s just for me and the rest of you get some Debra Winger shit, who knows. But I find it reassuring and I thought you should know that she is still fun to spend time with. People get sick and you get scared that when you visit them you’re walking into a Meredith Baxter Birney Lifetime movie, but it’s not gonna be like that. You’re gonna be drinking beers and talking about dicks just like old times. Or whatever you normally discuss. Needlepoint maybe.
So go visit Nikol. Or don’t, if she wants to be left alone. I should have asked her before I wrote this.
For people who don’t know Nikol, she’s my friend who has cancer and is possibly gonna bite it.

Dick Extender
7 MarI totally get why women get ridiculously huge breast implants. Because if such a thing existed for your dick I would get one immediately and it would be huge. A cartoon. It would be the dick some girls talk about when they are transparently trying to console you about the fact that your dick is not huge, the “you know, I don’t really even like huge dicks. Sometimes it’s just not even comfortable.” I would get that dick. Because she would talk about it. She would say to her girlfriends “you know, Jesus, it’s just too big; I don’t even want to fuck him sometimes because it hurts.” And the girl she was telling- it’s not like I picture her immediately wanting to fuck me, but maybe she would just want to see it. She would just be curious.
But the best you can do is something like this. Apparently if you hang those weights off your dick, or whatever this device does- basically this study found that certain kinds of mechanical penis enlargement actually work. They will extend your flaccid penis by a tiny but non-negligible amount after using the device for six hours per day for like six months. Continue reading →
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