Going to the Giant Forest. Maybe the Kern River. It’ll be nice just to drive. Sadie Wong’s not coming with me. It’s a fake name but I like the way it sounds. Sadie Wong doesn’t like me. Doesn’t want to spend time with me. She’s gay, or weird, she needs an abusive man. Or something. In any case I didn’t play it right. I didn’t play it at all. I simply “was myself.” And she doesn’t like me. What does that tell you. Continue reading
Girls are boring then surprised when you bore them. You have to be so exciting you can thwart their own boringness. Then when you’re used to playing up excitement you find yourself with a girl who seems to have spiritual grounding. Seems to want you to be decent. Nice. You let yourself show that part of you. You end up just being yourself. And she rejects you.
It can’t be God’s will for me to just to go work every morning. Continue reading
I went shooting with her. Showed her how to use the gun. Out past the fire restrictions by Mojave. I’d like to go shooting a hot load of goo right in her ovulating pussy— Continue reading
My love is burning magnesium. White hot then gone. She didn’t text back. I don’t give a shit. Continue reading
She’s hot. My God her ass in her green shorts lying on her stomach on the picnic blanket. She has long puffy nipples. Didn’t see them “in person” but no bra and her sheer white athletic T shirt. I can’t tell what’s going on– maybe some kind of piercing. Which would be unfortunate. But I think long puffy nipples. And I think about sucking one hard with my tongue pushing it into my palate like a baby really working to get milk out of it. While I have two fingers hooked in her making her cum. And then I put a real baby in her who really does suck hard to get milk out of it. Continue reading
Here we are at the coffee shop. And fucking Chelsea is here. Didn’t recognize her at first. Don’t know if she recognized me. She’d lost weight. She doesn’t look that good. Until I identify her as a girl I fucked and liked and then ghosted me, and she starts looking gorgeous. Continue reading
At the beach. Looking for the place I took Lilly. Where I carried her down the cliffs on our first date. She’d broken her leg eating it on a bicycle. Had a cast on. I helped her to her car after AA, where I’d stared at her two years. Lifted her crutches into the back of her Prius. Would you uh… do you want to uh… go to the beach with me this weekend and she said YEAH right away like she’d been waiting. After taking fastidious care to never look at me. Never sit near me. Only glance at me sideways, like someone told her I’d written about wanting to come back as a tapeworm and live in her asshole. I’m sorry but it’s true. Continue reading
The beginning of love. When she’s gone I masturbate to POV porn of girls that look like her. Cum in me they say. Please sir get me pregnant daddy. Continue reading
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